


A Scavenger of Sun and Sand and a Smuggler of Stars and Shadows

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, Awkward Ben, Ben is definitely a cat person and nobody can tell me any different, Ben is literally bad at talking to women, Ben is shit at talking to women so Uncle Chewie has to intervene, Ben isn't a Jedi but he never went to Snoke either, Ben smuggles with his pops, F/M, Fluff, Han Solo is still alive, I need to stop tagging, Maybe a little angst, Reylo - Freeform, Smuggler AU, Title Subject to Change, did I mention this might kind of be a slow burn, i don't know exactly if it's a slow burn or not, is it, maybe later - Freeform, maybe smut at some point, nevermind no smut yet, or is it not, reylo au, um Force hands???, we shall see, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-05 18:15:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 36,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13393485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Years ago, Ben Solo decided that becoming a Jedi just wasn't for him, but that doesn't mean that the First Order was for him either. After leaving the New Jedi Academy, Ben Solo went into business with his father, helping him smuggle throughout the galaxy. One thing leads to another and their ship crash lands on Jakku. They go to Niima Outpost to find parts for their ship and find more than they thought.





	1. Chapter 1

The inhabitants of the bar try to feign disinterest as the young human man walks through their bar, trying not to notice the scar that bisects his face and the beauty marks that dot his face. Their eyes sweep over his dark clothes, noting the fine fabric that's hard to find in a place like this.

Ben Solo walks through the dingy bar surrounding him with his head down and his shoulders pulled in tight, trying to draw as little attention to him as possible; considering his height and broad frame, it's a hard task to accomplish.

His dark eyes scan the room, searching for his client. He's supposed to be making a new deal for him and his father, this employer is willing to pay a lot of good money for a decent smuggling job.

He spies the person he thinks he's supposed to be meeting, a wiry gentleman whose eyes have been following Ben since he walked in. He fits the description that Ben was given.

Ben starts to make his way over to the man when a Gran stops him in his place, the man's three large eyes glaring at him as he grunts, "What's your name, boy?"

Ben knows not to use his real name, not to a man who's glaring at him and has a hand reaching for the blaster at his belt. He replies easily, using his chosen pseudonym, "Kylo Ren."

This doesn't seem to get the Gran off his back though, if anything it makes it worse. "That so, eh?" He asks as he looks Ben over, his eyes lingering on the nose that stands out from Ben's face, "You look familiar."

Ben shrugs. "I think I'd remember you," He says as he tries to sidestep the Gran and continue to make his way to his client, who seems to be losing interest every second this Gran detains him.

"Really," the Gran asks in faked incredulous tone, "So you don't remember that deal I had with you and your old man. Where I gave you half the payment ahead of time to reassure you that you would get paid, and you ended up losing my cargo."

Ben freezes, suddenly realizing that the men that seem to be randomly placed around the bar are actually all watching the exchange - all with blasters of their own near their hands. Yes, he remembers this Gran. It had been an average load, until they were flagged by authorities. They dropped that cargo quicker than a hot potato. 

It had been pure survival, they certainly didn't want to get locked up when they already had half their payment. Half was good enough for them.

Ben spreads his arms out and holds his palms flat out, showing that there's no weapon in them, hoping they'll think he means them no harm - which is mostly true - and his lips spread into a playful grin. "Even we get boarded sometimes," He says, barely remembering the Gran's name in time to tack it on at the end, "Lonus."

"Well, I want my money back."

Ben shakes his head, losing the easy grin, "We don't do refunds, buddy."

Lonus growls at that. "I ain't your 'buddy', and I want my money back," He says with conviction, "You can't do business like this."

"We're smugglers," Ben says, as if that explains they're business philosophy, "we can do business how ever we see fit."

With that, Ben sidesteps the Gran, clapping a hand on his shoulder in a sort of not-really-sorry apology, and continues walking towards his now angry client. The Gran doesn't seem to accept that answer though. He turns around and pulls out his blaster, angling it towards Ben's head.

Ben huffs as he watches the seemingly random men around the room take out their own blasters and angle them at his head. His client gives him one last look before shaking his head and walking out the door, taking all his glorious money with him.

He turns back to the Gran with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. "You just made me lose a very valuable client," He says in a low voice, a voice that makes Lonus's hand tremble in fear.

"Well," Lonus starts, his voice trembling as much as his hand, "you made me lose a lot of money by dropping my cargo."

"What are you going to do about it?" Ben asks in that same low voice, though this time it's tinged with teasing. 

He wants to play.

"I'll hold this gun to your head until your father gives me my money," The Gran explains his grand plan.

"I don't think so," Ben says as he shakes his head. The Gran and his friends watch as the smuggler pulls a ring off the middle finger of his right hand and sits it on a table nearby. Cracking his neck, the man looks at them all and smirks.

Then he strikes.

_**\-----** _

Ben rushes onto the smuggling freighter he's made into his home. Running to the cockpit where his father sits in the pilot's seat, he finds his father slurping on flavored noodles.

His father turns to him with incredulous eyes as Ben shouts, "We need to go!"

Most people would ask questions, especially the question 'Why do we need to go', before taking off, but Han Solo only needs to stare at his son for a second, noting his son's rapid breathing and the fact that his ever-present ring is missing from his hand, to know that it's time to go.

"Aw, kid," He starts exasperated, sitting his bowl of noodles on arm rest of his chair where it sits precariously, "what did you do now?"

Ben doesn't even have time to answer before his father's yelling, "Chewie, get in here!"

An answering rumble comes from the room that Chewie's made into his bedroom. His father rolls his eyes and yells, "I don't care if you're taking a nap or not!"

The Wookiee stomps into the room and says something very rude in Shyriiwook. Ben winces, knowing that the insult was meant for him. 

"Sorry, Uncle Chewie," Ben says, having already practiced his apology on the way over here, "in my defense, I didn't do anything wrong."

The Wookiee rumbles out, "No problem, little Ben," in Shyriiwook.

Ben groans, "Ah, don't call me that."

His father rolls his eyes and points behind him, "Go man the guns, kid."

"I don't think that will be necessary," Ben says, sure that none of the men back in the bar had any ships nearby. Plus, he Force-froze them quite strongly.

"You used the Force, didn't you?" His father asks.

Ben shrugs. "They did have guns pointed at my head."

His father looks back at him with wide eyes before shaking his head. "Well, don't tell your mother that," He says, turning back so he can watch where he pilots, "you know she worries enough."

"I know," Ben says, remembering the last time they returned home and the first thing his mother did was check him for injuries. She, of course, blamed his father for the scar that crosses Ben's face, even though it was Ben's inability to shut his mouth that lead to that particular injury.

They get into hyperspace and Ben lets out sigh as he sinks into the chair behind his father's, content to just relax. Until his father turns around with a raised brow, his face that says, 'Explain why the hell we aren't smuggling for some rich dude right now.'

"So, remember when we had to drop some cargo a while ago when we were flagged," His father thinks for a minute before nodding, "that particular client wasn't exactly happy that he never got his money and cargo back."

"Ah, Lonus always was a blowhard," His father says as he turns back to piloting.

"Where are we heading now?" Ben asks, watching the blue stars streaking by them.

His father thinks for a while before replying, "Coruscant."

Coruscant means back to his mother's incessant worrying - and nagging about finding a girl to settle down with so she can have grandchildren - and back to his uncle, who's left his Jedi academy to his oldest students who are now masters. Ben suspects Luke left it just so he could annoy Ben into trying to be a Jedi again, into trying to use to Force 'the right way' again.

His father senses his reluctance to go back and says, "You have to speak with your uncle at some point, Ben."

"I've  _tried_  talking to him, Dad," Ben explains, "multiple times. The conversation always goes back to one thing; Uncle Luke will only accept me if I'm a Jedi."

His father doesn't say anything for a long while, when he does it only makes Ben grumpier, "And you still don't want to be a Jedi?"

Ben's eyes narrow. "There is no emotion, there is only peace," he recites grumpily.

Chewie makes a sort of laughing noise and growls, "Yeah, definitely not for you, little Ben."

"Besides," Ben starts, thinking about the one thing that's always held him back, "a Jedi does not touch the Dark Side, but when I use the Force the Dark Side is right there alongside the Light. It's balanced for me, and Uncle Luke hates that."

To break the uncomfortable silence that's settled over them, Han blurts out, "Plus, if you were a Jedi you wouldn't be able to be with woman."

Ben lets out a low chuckle but doesn't tell his father that Han assumes that Ben can even get a girl. Ben might be confident in his work and while talking with potential clients and enemies, but he's shit at talking with women.

Ben is about to agree with his dad when an alarm starts blaring throughout the ship. "What's going on?" Ben asks Chewie.

Chewie shrugs and stands, rushing back to the engine room.

Han barely looks over at Ben as he takes the co-pilot's seat, his hands already starting to flick over the controls. "This is your ship, kid," Han says, a little bit sadly as he remembers the  _Millennium Falcon_ , his father's ship, "What do you think is happening?"

Ben thinks over the complications he's found in the ship since he won it in a card game. "Probably the damn fuel tank, I've thought there might be a leak for a long while," He says thoughtfully before adding, "though I didn't think it would cause this big of a problem.

They need to land soon, the ride's getting bumpy and Ben's stomach isn't liking it.

Han drops them out of hyperspace and flies them towards the nearest planet. It's a golden orange planet that seems devoid of all civilization. "Is that a good place for us to land our  _broken_ ship?"

"That, kid, is Jakku," Han says, "and while I would never come here for fun, this place will have what we need to fix your ship."

Ben furrows his brow, still surveying the land that's getting closer and closer below them, searching for civilization.

"Plus, I heard the  _Falcon_  was here," Han adds.

Ben nods, knowing that's why his father chose to fly to this planet rather than one of it's neighboring planets. Since he lost the  _Falcon_  a few years ago, his father had been searching for it. Any lead would have merit to his father, as long as he gets the chance at being reunited with his lovely ship.

"Hold on, son," Han says as he turns back to flying, "this is going to be bumpy."

_**\-----** _

His father was right. That landing was bumpy.

Ben rubs his head where a bump is now forming thinks to him knocking his skull against the metal wall of the ship during a particularly rough part of the landing.

Chewie walks into the cockpit and starts yelling at Han about being irresponsible and nearly getting him killed.

"Well, did you think the ship was going to land nicely?" Han yells back.

The Wookiee throws his hands up in the air and goes back to the engine room.

Ben's about to say something when something brushes against his leg. He looks down to find Scrapper, his Loth-cat, rubbing against his leg. Probably because he's hungry, the damn cat isn't touchy-feely unless he's hungry.

Ben bends over and grabs the cat, ignoring the paw full of claws that's swiped near his face. Ben pulls out a hard jerky stick out of his vest pocket and puts it in front of the creature's greedy face. Scrapper leans forward and snaps it out of Ben's hand faster than Ben's eyes can follow.

Han watches this with a curious expression. "I don't know why you keep that thing," He says, his eyes becoming suspicious, "you know it bit me, and Chewie; nearly got it's little legs pulled off for that."

In truth, Ben doesn't know why he kept the cat at all. He was just walking through a city on the planet of Kessel when he tripped over something. He looked down to find the cat, barely out of it's infant stage, staring up at him with wide, sad eyes. The cat had a chunk out of one of its long ears and its ribs were showing. So Ben took the holy terror home, soon learning that Loth-cats are literally the worst pets in the world.

"Well," Han announces as he stands up and claps his hand in front of him, "let's go find the parts we need and see about the  _Falcon_."

"About that," Ben says, looking out the window in front of him and still seeing nothing but desert, "where are we going to find these things?"

"Niima Outpost," Han answers simply, slinging on his blaster belt.

"We'll find parts there?" Ben asks, already pulling on his desert attire, which is basically just a head cover that he can pull up over his face to keep the sand out.

"Oh yeah," Han says, treading to the door, "there's a junker there named Unkar Plutt. If anyone has what we need, it's him."

Ben watches his father proceed towards the ramp that's already been lowered by Chewie, then he turns to Scrapper. "Well, after you."


	2. Chapter 2

The walk to this so-called outpost is practically hell. The sun bares down on Ben in his dark clothes, making him sweat worse than he did when they were on Ryloth - the planet Ben had previously thought had the hottest habitat.

By the time they make it to the small, village-like market outpost, Ben is sure his face is red not only from exertion but also from the sun. He's the only one who seems to mind though; with Chewie guarding the ship, Ben made the trip with his father and Scrapper. Han doesn't seem to mind the heat, though his knees are aching due to arthritis. And Scrapper . . . Scrapper just likes to see other's being unhappy.

"This is Niima Outpost?" Ben asks as he looks around the dingy market that seems to make its living off  _used_  parts.

Han turns back to him with a 'watch your mouth' expression. "It may look like trash, but you work with what you got," Han looks around, smiling kindly at an elderly woman who looks like she's never bathed a day in her life, "these people know that more than others."

Then his father's eyes land on something over Ben's shoulder, and Ben doesn't think he's seen his father that happy since the day Ben agreed to smuggle with him. "That's her, kid!"

Ben turns and finds exactly where his father's eyes have landed. The  _Millennium Falcon_. His father's beloved ship, anchored to the ground near a dirty outpost.

His father's makes his way over to the ship. He doesn't even think about the new owner of the ship as he goes straight for the ramp, watching it lower for him - And frowning with ten goons with blasters come out of nowhere and point their blasters at their heads.

"So, fellas," His father starts, watching as their faces switch from bored to annoyed, "I guess you work for the owner of this beauty."

The goons nod.

"Maybe you can tell me who that is, I'd like to cut a deal," His father says, his eyes only holding love for the  _Falcon_.

"Unkar Plutt," One of the goons answers, lowering his weapon, "and you won't get a fair deal from him."

"I'll take my chances," Han says, laying a hand on the Falcon and whispering, "I'll be back for you, baby."

"Let's go, Dad," Ben says, breaking Han out of his reverie, "we need to speak to this Plutt."

Han nods.

**_\-----_ **

They come upon a tent, pointed out to them by a helpful young kid that was a little too scrawny to be healthy, where Unkar Plutt seems to hold his court.

"These parts were worth one whole portion each just last week," A clear, accented voice cries out amongst the quiet of the tent.

Ben's eyes move to the owner of the voice. A girl. Young, at least ten years younger than himself. Her brown hair tied back in three buns, an unusual style to be sure but probably a good style for weather as hot as this. She's small, tall for a woman but thin. She'd be stunning if she wasn't covered in dirt and sweat; she's already beautiful with all the grime.

"Well, if you want to eat, you'll take the half portion I'm offering you," Unkar Plutt says in a demeaning tone as if he's speaking to a small child that he doesn't like very much, "because this is the new price, and you can starve if you don't like it."

He almost expects the girl to whip out a blaster and take the however many portions she wants. He expects her to argue for whatever it is she wants. This girl looks fierce and he certainly wouldn't want to cross her.

But she just sighs defeatedly and grabs the packet Plutt hands her. She turns to walk out, showing Ben her whole face after he only saw the side of it, and his heart beats a little faster. She's sad, yes, but there's a little glimmer in her eyes that has Ben completely mesmerized. Is it hope? Is is that strange fierceness? 

Whatever it is, it looks good on her.

Ben barely notices his father walking up to Plutt and start dealing with him, Ben's eyes are only on the girl as she walks out of the tent and into the market. Ben stares down at Scrapper for a second before heading out after her.

His father's used to him wandering off, he'll probably be a little bit annoyed but Ben knows how to deal with him.

"You see her, Scrapper?" Ben asks his cat.

The cat makes a strange growling noise and starts walking in a seemingly random direction. Ben follows, hating the idea of losing his pet in the crowds. They come upon a speeder that looks nearly handmade and a girl standing next to it. No, not a girl.  _The_ girl.

Ben clears his throat and watches as the girl turns.

Her brow furrows as she looks him up and down, her eyes lingering on the scar across his face. Her furrowed brow brings his attention to the freckles on her face. He wonders if her face is the only place she has freckles.

"What do you want?" The girl asks, her hand reaching behind her for the staff that's strapped to her back.

Ben clears his throat again, this time not to get her attention but to clear away the nervous knot that's formed there. "I saw what happened back there," Ben starts, unsure what to say to this girl of sand and sun, "that guy seems like a real nerfherder."

The girl's brow furrows even more. "Who are you?" She looks him up and down again, this time with narrowed eyes. "I've never seen you around here before."

Ben reaches forward to offer his hand only for her to stare at it like it's a snake poised to bite, so he just yanks it back as his ears turn red - he thanks the Force that he decided to wear his hair long to cover them.

"I'm Ben," He says, though he wonders for a second why he gave her his real name instead of his fake one. "Ben Solo."

She pricks up at that. "Ben Solo? Like Han Solo?"

"Yeah, the war hero," Ben informs, knowing that's how most people know his father from his years with the Rebel Alliance.

"No," Her face mashes together at the thought, "the smuggler."

He chuckles, his father would love to hear that someone remembers him as smuggler instead of a war hero. "The one and the same."

"What are you doing here?" She asks cautiously, obviously just being related to a famous smuggler isn't going to calm any suspicions that bloom into her mind.

Ben gestures out into the distance, in the direction of his ship, "My ship crashed, we're here for parts. Plus, my father wants the  _Falcon_  back."

"The  _Millennium Falcon_?" The girl asks almost excitedly, "The ship that made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs!"

Ben bites his lip at her excited and omits that it was actually twelve, not wanting to unravel her excitement. Instead, he points to the ship in question. "That's her."

The girl's eyes follow his pointing and her face becomes tinged with disappointment as she sees the ship. "That piece of garbage is the  _Millennium Falcon_?"

Ben laughs out loud, startling the girl. "Don't ever let my father hear you say that, that ship is the love of his life."

"Shouldn't that be your mother?" The girl asks.

"She's only slightly below the ship," Ben jokes, though he knows his father would give up the  _Falcon_  for his mother in a heartbeat no matter how much they argue.

The girl giggles a little bit before becoming serious again. "What's wrong with your ship?"

Ben sighs dramatically and says, "The better question would be what's not wrong with my ship.  _Shadow_  is an old ship and she needs a lot of care that I haven't been able to give her."

The girl nods. She seems unable to think of something else to say when Scrapper rubs himself against her legs, unusual for a cat that doesn't even like the owner that feeds him and lets him sleep in his bed with him.

The girl bends down and scratches the cat's head, causing a deep purr to rumble from the cats chest. "Who's this?"

"Scrapper, my cat," Ben replies.

"He's cute," The girl coos as she scratches his head. Ben blanks. Someone is calling his Loth-cat, a creature with a mouth full of the sharpest set of teeth he's ever seen, cute.

"Yeah, he's adorable, especially when he bites me to wake me up in the morning," Ben quips, earning a giggle from the girl. That giggle makes him wish he knew how to joke as easily as his father, he could listen to that giggle all day.

The girl continues to pet the cat and he continues to try and make her laugh until the sun starts to set and she scrambles up, heading straight for her speeder. "I should have left earlier. It's going to be dark before I get back," She says almost worriedly to herself, having forgotten he was there.

He grabs her wrist after she slings herself onto her speeder and she looks down at him, something alarming piercing in her gaze, and that one touch sends a jolt through him. A jolt of excitement . . . and something else.

She has the Force.

That one touch helped him feel it in her. It's repressed though, she hasn't had an awakening yet. Through his shock he realizes that she wants to go so he releases her wrist, but not before asking the question he wanted to ask before the Force sidetracked him.

"What's your name?"

She almost doesn't answer, he can see it in her hazel eyes, but after a long minute she whispers, "Rey."

And then he's releasing her and she's gone, speeding off towards the sunset.

He hears a whistling noise behind him and turns to find his father, watching him. "That's quite a girl, kid."

"Yeah," Ben says, not wanting to take his eyes away from her ever-shrinking form as she zooms away.

"She's a scavenger, you know," Han says with a tone to his voice that tells Ben that he's trying to tell him more than he's saying, "they're really good at fixing things since they take things apart."

"Really?" Ben asks noncommittally.

"You know, we could use someone like that to help us work on the  _Shadow_."

Ben starts following his line of thinking. "You don't think Chewie and I will be enough?"

Han shrugs, spreading his hands in his normal 'I'm innocent' gesture. "You probably are, but wouldn't it be nice to have an extra set of hands on board, especially a set of hands that are attached to a pretty girl."

At that moment, Ben thinks that his father is as bad as his mother, but he can't help but be glad for his father's meddling. Now, he has a reason to spend time with the scavenger girl. Rey.

_**\-----** _

Rey tries not to think of the handsome stranger that approached her after she got her portions from Plutt. Ben Solo, he'd said that was his name.

He seemed friendly, unlike some of the other strangers that had approached her before. He was handsome, like the men she had seen on the Holonet, but different from those men too. He was so big too. How does one even get to be that tall and broad?

 _His hair was nice,_  Rey admits to herself.

Rey shakes these thoughts from her head. She shouldn't be thinking about the tall, dark, handsome stranger. She can't leave Jakku, and he definitely will not be staying; she knew that as soon as she saw his finely made clothes. Those clothes are not the type of clothing one wears when they are planning on making a home of Jakku.

Rey walks into her broken down At-At and picks up her old rusted nail, scratching a line into the wall. Stepping back, she looks over her wall, having to hold back tears at all the lines she finds there.

So many.

Hundreds.

Thousands.

 _One day all the walls in this metal home will be covered in her tallies,_  She thinks for a second before shaking that thought away like the thoughts of the stranger, Ben. Her family will come for her.

Rey fixes her tasteless portion quickly and heads back outside, eating as she watches the night sky. 

Later, Rey falls asleep, silently hoping that tomorrow she won't be so alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Today, Han Solo stays behind in the  _Shadow_ , arguing with a five inch hologram of Ben's mother. Leia Organa Solo is not happy that her son was in a bar fight with guns pointed at his head and is now trapped on a desert planet after their ship crashed.

Chewbacca walks alongside Ben into Niima Outpost, looking very out of place but always confident in his stride. He keeps a watchful eye on Scrapper though, scared the Loth-cat will strike him at any given moment.

When they walk into Plutt's tent every eye turns to them, every eye excepts Rey's.

The scavenger girl is too busy haggling her price with Plutt for a few scrap parts that look brand new, her face red from frustration and one of her hand fisted at her side. Ben thinks that if he were Plutt, he would not be arguing with this fiery girl.

She seems to begrudgingly accept the price she's given and take it, turning back to the exit. Her eyes catch on his face and hold his gaze for a second before she lowers them to the ground and exits the tent without so much as a greeting.

"Go after her, you idiot," Chewie growls out, elbowing Ben hard enough to make him stumble.

"What should I say?" Ben asks exasperatedly, "'Hey, you're really pretty and I'm hopeless at talking to girls but would you maybe want to help me fix my ship' isn't exactly an easy thing to say."

Chewie growls out, "Just ask her to help fix the ship, tell her you'll pay her, and later you can tell her that she's pretty."

"But - "

"Sorry, little Ben," Chewie musses Ben's hair and walks up to Plutt, "Gotta see if this guy understands Shyriiwook, the _Falcon_ isn't going to buy herself."

With that Ben sighs, running a hand through his hair to flatten it, and walks out of the tent. He follows his path from yesterday to where he found Rey. She's standing by her speeder, inspecting something on it.

Ben takes a deep breath before walking over to her, standing close enough that they can talk without feeling awkward but also far enough away so she doesn't feel claustrophobic or anything.

"Hi," Ben says when she looks up at him.

"Still here?" She asks.

Ben nods and runs a hand through his, she watches this movement before lowering her eyes back to whatever her hands are fidgeting with. "We actually need someone to help us with my ship."

The girl nods. "I'm sure you'll find someone."

Ben coughs, trying to listen his the knot in his throat; kriff, why is his throat getting knotted every time he speaks to her. "We were kind of hoping you would help us. Er, well, I was."

Rey looks at him with wide eyes and a furrowed brow. "Why?"

"You're a scavenger," Ben says, spitting out the same reasons his father gave him, "your good with machines," He watches her face fall and he wonders what answer she was expecting so he adds, "plus you're a lot nicer and prettier than the other scavengers I've seen around here."

She smiles shyly at that, her face burning a bright red that makes her seem even prettier, but then she frowns and shakes her head. "I can't."

"Why not?" Ben asks, confused by her quick change in demeanor.

She pauses as she carefully chooses the words she says next, "I can't spend parts of my day working on your ship. I have to be spending my days scavenging, trying to get as many parts as I can."

"Your acting like we're not going to pay you," Ben says, amused but also disturbed that she would think they weren't going to give her anything for a hard days works.

"You're going to pay me?" She asks.

"Yeah, we have credits, as many as you need - "

She shakes her head. "Credits aren't a form of payment out here."

"How do you want to be paid then?"

"Portions," Rey says simply.

"That stuff Plutt gives you," Ben says, hoping he's right, "Is it food?"

Rey nods hungrily.

Something in Ben's heart cracks at the thought of this beautiful, strong girl having to work every day in the blazing sun just for food. She's not even getting credits so she buy food and other necessities, she's just getting something so simple that every basic life-form should have it.

"We'll give you food," Ben finds himself saying.

And he's so happy he said that because her eyes light up with excitement and it sews those cracks in his heart back together.

"Then you have yourself a deal."

_**\-----** _

Ben scurries around the  _Shadow_  the next day, trying to make everything presentable. It's been the home of three adult men for years, it's not exactly the cleanest place. His father likes to leave his dirty clothes lying around in random places until it's finally washed. Chewie leaves his bowcaster in random places, making it easy for Scrapper to accidentally set it off sometimes, leaving holes in the walls and everything.

Ben always tries to pick up after himself, a skill he's thankful his mother taught him, but he's been slacking lately.

"Ben, stop fussing," His father says as he watches Ben wash some dishes he doesn't even remember eating out of, "the girl won't be here to judge your housecleaning. She'll be in the engine room most of the time."

Ben sighs, knowing his father is right, until he hears a knocking on the  _Shadow_.

She's here.

"She's here, Dad," Ben says at he stares at the ramp. Should he put it down? Should he just go hide in his bunk? This girl is going to be spending all day here. Can he really spend all day with her? He's surprised he hasn't made a fool out of himself yet.

Han Solo rolls his eyes and presses the button, lowering the ship's ramp. The girl at the bottom of the ramp looks surprised then smiles, walking up the ramp to meet the famous smuggler.

Han smiles kindly at her and introduces himself, "Han Solo, nice to meet you," He gestures to Ben and adds, "I believe you've met my son."

The girl nods. "It's nice to see you again, Ben."

It is? When was the last time a girl said that to him? Never.

"Nice to see you too, Rey," He finds himself stuttering.

His father turns to him and raises an eyebrow before saying, "Well, I'm going to go call your mother. She's very excited about this turn of events."

And Ben knows. His mother knows that he's met a girl, and his father is playing matchmaker for her.

"So this is your ship," Rey says as she looks around with impressed eyes, skipping over the mess that Ben didn't finish cleaning.

"Yeah, the  _Shadow_ ," Ben says, wishing she had a better name, at least the  _Millennium Falcon_  has a cool name.

"How much was she?" Rey asks, noting the high-tech machinery embedded in the walls.

Ben shrugs. "Don't tell my mother but I won her in a card game."

"So you're a gambler?" The girl asks, watching him with now wary eyes.

"No!" Ben all but shouts at her. His voice softens as he says, "We needed a ship and I'm much better at gambling than my father."

At that, Chewie walks in a growls, "You were lucky, little Ben. You still can't beat me."

Ben blushes from embarrassment at the Wookiee's nickname for him before remembering that the girl probably can't understand Shyriiwook - 

The girl giggles. "Little Ben?"

Ben turns a glare towards Chewie who in turn regards the girl with excitement. "You understand Shyriiwook?"

Rey nods. "I make it a point to learn as many languages as possible so I can try and barter with anyone who comes through Niima."

Chewie growls in approval.

Ben flushes an even deeper red. "Let's get to work." He turns and heads into the engine room, only waiting a second for the girl to follow him.

It doesn't take her that long to find the problem - well, problems - and start telling him what he'll need to fix them. Then she starts working with what they have, instructing him and Chewie on everything with ease.

When Chewie leaves to make them sandwiches for lunch, Ben finds himself staring at the girl as she focuses on some tubing in front of her, biting her lower lip in concentration. "You're very good at this," Ben says as he hands her a tool she gestures to.

The girl looks at him and he sees pride glow in her eyes before she turns her hazel eyes back to her work. "I've always been good with machinery," She explains. "I guess being a scavenger helped with that. Tearing things to pieces gave me insight on how to put things back together."

Ben doesn't know what to say to that, but instead of letting the silence grow, Rey asks, "You don't seem all that into machinery," She stares at him, watching him fumble to grab a wrench for her, "What do you like to do?"

Ben shrugs. "I'm a pilot, an a smuggler."

"That's not all though," Rey says, noticing his shoulder tensing under the question.

"No."

"What else do you like to do?" She asks.

Ben bites his lip. He's not sure he should tell her. He's not sure he should show her. She has the Force - that much he knows - but how much does she know about it? If he uses the Force in front of her will she be able to tell the difference between the Dark and Light? Will she be repulsed by his darkness?

There's only one way to know.

Ben slides the dark metal ring off his middle finger and pushes it into his pocket. Calling on the Force, he makes a wrench float in the air, slowly sending it over to her.

Rey watches this in amazement, her eyes wide with disbelief. "How are you doing that?"

Ben shrugs. "It's called using the Force."

"The Force?" Rey asks, "I thought the Force was a myth."

Ben shakes his head. "I wish it was a myth." 

Because if it was a myth, his uncle wouldn't hate him for not being a Light Side saint. Because if it was a myth, Ben wouldn't have had those horrible nightmares when he was little. Because if it was a myth, Ben wouldn't have to wear that damn suppression ring to keep him from using his powers too much which would tell that dark creature that hunted him where he is.

Oh, Ben wishes very deeply that the Force was a myth.

"But you love it," Rey says confused.

Ben shrugs. "Sometimes the things we love aren't the best thing for us."

Rey still looks confused for second before understanding pops into her head. He doesn't want to know why she understand that the things we love hurt us.

They stare at each other, unsure of what to say or how to break the moment. His dark eyes on her hazel eyes, not breaking contact for a moment. With his ring off, he can feel her Force signature much more clearly, and, Force, it's so bright and it seems to be reaching for his and now they're leaning forward and -

Chewie walks in with a loud growl of, "I got the grub," and a plate with at least twenty little sandwiches and drinks in the other hand.

Chewie doesn't seem to notice how Ben and Rey scramble apart, nor how bright red their faces turn, as he sits down next to them, cross-legged, and hands them their food and drinks.

Rey looks at the sandwich with apprehension and Ben knows why. It's nothing like those tasteless portions she's endured her whole life. And there's so many, she can have as many as she wants.

Ben raises his own sandwich and takes a bite out of it, making a satisfied moan due to its taste. Rey watches this with wide eyes before taking bite of her own sandwich. Her eyes widen as she takes another bite, barely swallowing her first bite before devouring the rest of the sandwich completely.

And three more.

She's onto her fifth sandwich before Ben's even finished his second and he can't seem to find the words to stop her. He imagines, hopes, that after she finishes helping them fix this ship and she's had all the meals she can ask for that she'll fill out more. She's so skinny, underfed skinny, and thinking about her healthy and fed makes him happy.

Chewie is the one who stops her when she reaches for her sixth sandwich. "Slow down," Chewie growls out, "You eat too much after the lifestyle you've had, you'll get really sick."

Rey seems to understand that quickly and immediately drops her hand, though her eyes linger on that sandwich.


	4. Chapter 4

"No," Rey says as she points to a large pile of tools, "that one."

Ben picks up one and she immediately starts shaking her head. Ben picks up another and her eyes narrow; he immediately drops that one and picks up another one. She nods to this one.

Ben hands it to her and watches as she starts fixing something - he has no idea what it even is. He smiles as he sees her eyebrows scrunch together and the tip of her tongue peek out from between her lips as she focuses on the work in front of her.

"So, what's going to happen when your father and Chewie finally finish bargaining with Plutt?" Rey asks, still focusing on her work, "Are you going to sell the  _Shadow_  and continue smuggling with Han on the  _Falcon_?"

Furrowing his brow, he thinks about her question. Will he sell the  _Shadow_? He'd like to continue working with his dad, but the  _Millennium Falcon_  isn't home to him anymore; the  _Shadow_  is. Rey's gaze turns from her work to him as his silence continues, prompting him to admit, "Honestly, I don't know."

Rey nods as if she understands and turns back to her work.

And he can't thank her enough for that. When was the last time someone asked him what he wanted? When was the last time that someone didn't pressure him into a decision? When was the last time someone just let him decide on his own without judgement?

He almost says "thank you" but then he decides against it. Why would he thank her for something she doesn't even know she's done? He doesn't want to weird her out.

"So," Rey begins, searching for another topic of conversation, "what's with your ring?"

Ben stares down at his ring as he answers, "People like us - " He stops and rephrases, knowing she doesn't know that she has the Force, "People like me are supposed to go this academy, to learn how to use our powers and become Jedi - "

"Jedi?" Rey exclaims, fully turning away from her work to look at him, "I thought they were a myth!"

Ben wastes no time shaking his head. "They're real."

Rey looks at him with wide eyes before saying, "Continue."

Ben smiles at that as he continues his story, "I went to this academy when I was younger, but I never," He pauses, searching for the right word, "fit in with the other students. I soon realized that becoming a Jedi wasn't the right path for me."

Rey nods, watching him with complete interest.

"But the Force is very strong with me, with my whole family really, and I sometimes can't control it as well as I'd like." He looks away for a second, remembering a tantrum he'd had when he was twelve where he broke all the windows in his mother's complex in Coruscant via the Force.

"So my uncle, the Jedi Master, had one request of me," Ben explains, "if I could find something that would suppress my Force powers, then I could leave the Academy and he wouldn't stand in my way. Of course, he was, and still is, very angry with my decision to leave."

Rey doesn't say anything just nods to let him know that she's listening so he continues, "I searched and searched the old Jedi texts, trying to find anything that could work. There was one passage, one short passage, that involved a Force suppressing metal. It pointed me to Ilum, where the crystals for lightsabers can be found.

"My father was so excited that I was planning on joining him he almost didn't let me pack before we left for Ilum. It took us days upon days in the freezing cold to find the metal, and it took weeks to find someone who would craft it into a ring for me."

"But you found someone," Rey says.

He nods. "It cost a pretty good amount, but it was worth every bit."

Rey frowns as she looks at the ring; she doesn't say anything, though, and for that, he is grateful.

\-----

"I think I'm going to keep the  _Shadow_ ," Ben says as he takes a bite out of the meat Chewie made for dinner.

His father looks up with wide eyes before saying, "What?"

"I want to keep the  _Shadow_."

"Look, kid," His father starts looking at Chewie for help for a moment before saying, "I know we're not exactly the most hospitable, and I know you wish we were cleaner, but we can do better if that's - "

Ben shakes his head, dismissing the idea, "That's not it, Dad." He bites his lip and sits his fork down as he explains, "I think I need to do this for myself, strike out on my own. We can still work together on big loads, or anything really. I just - I want to do this for myself."

Han is quiet for a moment, two moments, and Ben starts to fear the worst, starts to fear his father's disapproval, and then Han says, "I think that would be good for you, son. You are 28, after all. You should get out and start doing your own thing."

Chewie chimes, agreeing to Han's statement.

That brings a smile to Ben's face. "Thank you for understanding."

Han nods before frowning and pointing a finger in Ben's face. "Don't tell your mother yet," Han says warningly, "you'll give the poor woman a heart attack."

Ben nods.

Chewie growls, "You know you'll need a copilot."

Ben nods again, this time noncommittally, already thinking of the one person he wants helping him with his ship at all times. "I already have someone in mind."

Han and Chewie smile knowingly.

\-----

He thinks he's lost.

Like really lost.

The sand dunes all look the same at night. Ben can't tell where he's going. Which direction is the right direction?

He sighs and looks down at his hand where his ring seems to feel colder than normal against his fingers, heavier in his hand. "Kriff it." He pulls the ring off and slides it into his pocket. He pulls the Force in and concentrates, focusing on nearby Force signatures.

On a remote planet like Jakku, it's pretty easy to find the one he's looking for. Especially since she's the only one. And hers glows so bright it's nearly blinding.

After a few minutes of traveling in the direction of her Force signature, he stumbles upon her At-At. She'd only told him about it once, and her words did nothing to keep him from being surprised at what he saw.

Rusty and decrepit, it looked ready to collapse. He wasn't sure how the ever-shifting sands of the desert hadn't buried it long ago.

There wasn't even a door.

"Rey," He decides to call out, not wanting to step inside her home without knowing if she was alright with it, "it's Ben."

The noises of scrambling float to his ears, he shakes head as he listens to her drop something and yell "Oh druk" before she appears in the doorway and smiles widely. "Hi," She mumbles with a little wave.

Her hair is down. That's all he notices; he hasn't seen her with her hair down yet. Her hair is loose and flowing around her face, reaching her shoulders. It looked like it would be longer when it was in the buns.

"Hi," He stutters out nervously, running a hand through his hair, "you changed your hair."

Her eyes widen and she reaches up to grab her hair, finding it to be loose, before realization sinks into her eyes, "Yeah, I had a headache."

He nods. "You're feeling better now, right?"

"Yes."

He nods. "That's good," He says awkwardly, trying not to notice the blush that's now crept it's way along her cheekbones or the way her hair seems to make her collarbone stand out.

She doesn't say anything and neither does he. They just stare at each other for a minute until they both decide that one of them needs to speak.

"Can I come in - "

"Would you like to come in - "

They both stop and she giggles a bit at the situation before stepping aside, allowing him in.

Another terrible thing about Rey's home is that it's tiny. Ben has to hunch over just to keep from knocking his head on the doorway and the ceiling. And once he's inside he's so largely built that he takes up half the room.

Rey giggles as she sees him trying to fit himself into the little room comfortably. When he decides that that's not possible he just sinks down onto the floor and tries to sit with his legs crossed.

It works.

More or less.

Rey tries to contain her giggling as she sits down across from him. "So what brings you here?" She asks.

But he can't focus on her question.

All he can focus on is the wall.

The wall with hundreds, thousands, of little slashes on it. A count, but a count of what? Is she waiting for something? Is she just counting the days to keep score? What is that wall?

Rey must notice his silence because she follows his gaze. And she stops. Her giggles die down and she just . . . freezes.

"What is that?" Ben asks in a voice that is slightly hoarse.

Rey bites her lip and continues to stare at the wall, not willing to turn back to him and look him in the eyes, as she says, "The days."

"The days?" Ben prompts tentatively. Will talking about this hurt her? He doesn't want to bring up bad memories. He doesn't want to hurt her.

"The days since my family's been gone."

That's when Ben realizes he still doesn't have his ring on, because he accidentally feels Rey's feelings through the Force. Sadness, loss, abandonment. Lonely, so lonely. But there's also anger. Why didn't they want her? Why did they leave her? What was so wrong with her?

And he wants to say, "Nothing, nothing is wrong with you. They're the idiots," but he doesn't want her to know that he invaded her privacy,even if it was accidental.

So instead of saying something he'll definitely regret, he does something he'll  _probably_  regret. He reaches across and grabs her hand, wrapping his large hand around her smaller hand. Her palms are calloused and scarred from years of pulling out machinery with her hands and twirling her staff.

And they feel like they fit in his.

She turns around and looks at him, her eyes meeting his. She knows. She knows that they abandoned her, deep down inside in that secret place that he accidentally touched through this power that nobody should have, but she doesn't accept it. And she probably never will.

"I'm sorry," He mumbles.

And she still hasn't taken her hand back.

"Thank you."

They stare at each other for minutes - it feels like hours - until he clears his throat and looks away, needing to not be staring into those emotional hazel eyes that seem to wreck his entire world.

"If you could be anything," Ben starts out, asking a question to relieve some of the tension, "what would you be?"

Rey stares at him with wide, shocked eyes for a minute before saying, "I don't really know. I've always thought I'd only ever be just a scavenger."

Ben snorts at that. "You're not 'just' anything, Rey," He states. "You know more about my ships innerworkings than Chewie does and he's over a hundred years old."

"That's what scavengers do, Ben."

Ben huffs. "Would you just let me compliment you, okay?"

Rey stifles a giggle as she says, "Okay."

"Now, if you could be anything, anything in the galaxy," Ben says, restating his question, "what would you be?"

Rey's brow furrows as she thinks for a moment before answering truthfully, "A Loth-cat."

And she says it so certainly that he can't help but crack up at her seriousness.

"What?" She asks, offended by his laughing.

"Why in the galaxy would you want to be a Loth-cat?"

She shrugs. "If they have a good owner, they get all the food they want, and they get to stay in a warm, comfy bed every night."

He thinks that might be the saddest reason behind the funniest answer there ever was. It only makes him want to ask her he's been thinking of asking her since his chat with his father and Chewie.

"Rey," He starts seriously, finally ready to ask the question he came here to ask, "join me. Please."

Rey jerks back, wrenching her hand from his, and saying, "What?"

"I decided not to sell the Shadow, that I want to strike out on my own, but I need a copilot and there's no one,  _no one_ , I want more than you . . . to be my copilot, that is," He stumbles over the sentence awkwardly and cringes as he finishes.

"Are you offering me a job?" She asks in amazement.

"It wouldn't pay much," Ben says, knowing that when he first starts out on his own it'll be difficult to pick up clients, especially since most of his clients are his father's clients and they'd technically be rivals, "but you'd be fed, and there would be a warm bed every night. You can play with Scrapper anytime you like. Those little sandwiches that Chewie makes - the ones you love so much - I know how to make them, and I'll make them anytime you want."

Rey smiles, the brightest smile he's seen from her, and then she freezes. And slowly, oh so slowly, her smile falls completely from her face. "I can't," She whispers sadly.

He knows why. His eyes find the reason behind her choice. The wall. She's waiting for her family, her Force-forsaken family, and she won't leave this desert planet until they come for her. Except they won't come for her, they abandoned her. They're dead. He knows it in his heart of hearts. She knows it too.

But she won't accept it.

And he won't for her to, no matter how much it kills him to think of leaving her here to grow old thinking that her family will come for her when no one will.

"Well," He begins, "if you change your mind, the offer stands. If not, you're going to have to teach me everything you know about that ship before I leave, otherwise I'll probably get stuck in space somewhere with no idea what to do."

She nods and smiles, though the smile doesn't meet her eyes. "I would love to teach you."

"Good, because I need a teacher, especially if I'm going to have Scrapper messing with my wires and stuff."

That raises a more real smile out of her and he decides he wants to keep that smile on her face for as long as possible. So he asks her ridiculous questions and tells her hilarious stories from his travels with his father.

They talk for hours, and he almost doesn't notice when her hand slips into his again.

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm literally just updating this whenever I have time. It's not going to be an exact day every week but I am promising at least one chapter every week. Thanks for all the encouragement! I surprised myself by writing this because I don't like AU's that are so different from canon. If you got me reading your AU, you best be flattered because that's gotta be like the best writing ever otherwise I would not be reading. So I don't know why I started writing this, it just came into my head and I started typing it and I was like that's kind of good. So yeah. Comment, please. Tell me what you like, what you don't like, what you want more of. Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

"Has your father had any luck bargaining with Plutt?" Rey asks as she looks up from the half-broken power converter in front of her.

"About that," He begins, having already thought of something that might help, "do you have any idea what price would be enough for Plutt?"

Rey snorts, turning her eyes back to the converter so she can assess what needs to be worked on next. "Plutt is greedy. He pays for things with the smallest amount he knows it could go for and he sells things for the largest amount he can possibly get out of a person."

Ben nods, taking in this information as Rey continues, "For a working ship, like the  _Falcon_ , that's a classic with a history like hers . . . I don't know what price will satisfy Plutt, but it's going to be pretty steep."

Ben sighs. "I was afraid you'd say that."

Rey turns fully away from the converter and looks at him with a furrowed brow. "Your father is known for being the greatest smuggler in the galaxy. You have a Wookie with a bowcaster.  _You_  have the Force."

He raises a brow as if to say, _What's your point?_

"You could steal it easily," Rey says.

"In case you haven't noticed," Ben starts, "Plutt has armed guards guarding it."

Rey looks at him as if he's stupid. "You have the Force," She reminds him, "I'm sure there's something you can do about them."

"I don't like using the Force that way," Ben says, remembering the last time he mind-tricked a lifeform. He remembers the darkness that curled up inside his mind. It wasn't the Dark Side -  he knows the Dark Side, and it doesn't feel like that - it was something else, something violent and controlling.

He can tell that Rey wants to ask why, but she doesn't. She just watches him for a moment before saying, "Well, if you don't want to use the Force, then you'll need a distraction."

"What?"

"A distraction," Rey explains, "if something were to go wrong at the Outpost, maybe near one of the stalls closest to Plutt's, then his guards would leave the  _Falcon_ unattended and run to protect him."

"That's actually a really good idea," Ben admits. "We'd have to wait until the Shadow is fixed, Plutt might not take to kindly to me staying after my father disappears."

"If I'm right," Rey says, "this converter is the last thing that needs to be fixed."

Ben thinks he catches a hint of sadness in her tone before she sends him a sunny smile. Rey adds, "After it's done, you're free to go."

Ben nods slowly, chewing the inside of his cheek as he thinks of something he's been wanting to ask her, something that he already asked her a few days ago before he saw her wall of days. "Rey," He starts, pausing as she turns to look at him with a tender smile, "I really wish you would come with me when I leave."

Her smile shifts into a frown and she opens her mouth and closes it several times, trying to form words that won't come to her. Finally, she shakes her head, her eyes on the floor instead of him, as she says, "I can't. What if my family comes?"

He watches her, seeing how she clings to that hope, and he doesn't want to break it but he doesn't want to leave her here, clinging to the hope of a family that will never come for her as the sands and sun slowly destroy everything good about her.

"What if they never come?" Ben voices his fear, "Rey, do you really think they're coming back for you?" He can see her open her mouth, ready to protest, but he beats her to it, "They left you here as a child, and they haven't come back."

He sees a tear sliding it's way down her cheek and he reaches across the space between them, ready to wipe the tear away, but she flinches back. And why wouldn't she? He's destroying the little bit of hope she's clung to for years.

"I don't want to leave you here," Ben says, "this place will destroy you, Rey."

"You're destroying me," Rey whispers.

"Please, Rey," Ben murmurs, "I just want what's best for you."

She doesn't say anything, just swipes her arm across her face, wiping away any evidence of tears, and turns back to the power converter.

And he doesn't try to talk to her again.

\-----

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Ben's father asks for the millionth time as they sneak through the sand dunes towards the  _Falcon_  and Niima Outpost.

"Rey thinks it's a good idea," Ben replies, not entirely sure if that's reassuring to his father but it's enough for him.

Han shrugs. "Alright then," His father says, prompting Ben to look over at him with a raised brow. Han shrugs again. "I like the kid, she'd make a nice daughter-in-law," Han implies.

Ben rolls his eyes. "Considering that she won't even speak to me at the moment, I don't think that's going to happen."

"Ah," Han shakes his head. "What'd you do now?"

"Why do you assume it's me?" Ben asks.

"Is it your fault?"

Ben doesn't answer for a moment before admitting, "Yes."

"That's why, you laserbrain."

Chewie laughs at that and Ben narrows his eyes at him. "Laugh it up."

Han starts to ask, "So, what did you do?"

Ben doesn't answer as they make their way over a dune and see the  _Falcon_  and the Outpost in front of them.

"Alright," Han says, "let's get this party started," He turns to Ben and asks, "You ready to be a distraction?"

Ben unclips his lightsaber from his belt - he doesn't need the Force to use a lightsaber - and holds it ready to be ignited in his hands. "Ready."

"Get in there and destroy some shit," His father says, smirking as he adds, "It shouldn't be too hard, you're part Skywalker after all."

Ben smirks back at him and makes his way to the Outpost, he sneaks through the tents before finding the one closest to Plutt's tent.

He ignites his saber, enjoying the blue light that bathes his face in pale light, then he starts slashing, curtains catch fire as the tent collapses. He makes sure to pull his hood up over his head and the cloth covering his mouth and nose higher on his face so no one can identify him.

People start running, some towards the fire, some away from the fire. He slips in with the people running away.

He runs towards the desert and away from the Outpost. He smiles as he sees the  _Falcon_ already zooming away into space, probably to Coruscant so his father can apologize to his mother for being an idiot and getting them marooned on Jakku.

He starts running back to the Shadow, ready to leave, when he runs past it. The broken At-At.  _Her_  At-At. He knows that she's home. He knows she's probably in there, heating up a portion. He knows she's probably already marked another line on her wall.

And he knows that he can't leave without trying one last time.

He runs up to her door, pulling the cloth away from his face as he knocks on the side of the At-At.

Rey immediately yells out, "Who is it?"

"Ben," He answers simply.

"Go away."

"Rey - "

"I don't want to see you," She calls out in a voice that says otherwise.

Ben walks in anyways and holds up his hands to cover his face as she starts launching stuff at him. 

"Rey, would you just let me speak to you?" Ben asks.

"No!"

"Rey," He begins, dodging a particularly heavy looking part of machinery, "I need to apologize for earlier."

The parts stop flying towards him and when he looks up he sees her frozen in place, looking at him with cautious eyes. "What?"

"I'm sorry for earlier, Rey," Ben says, knowing that he hurt her and he needs to apologize for it, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

He steps forward, and she doesn't step back.

"I know what I said was probably hard for you to hear, I can understand why."

He takes another step forward, she stands still.

"I just - " He stops, struggling to find the right words to say, "I just don't want to see another mark on that wall. I just don't want to leave you here to wait for a family that you  _know_ isn't coming back."

He holds out his hand, noticing how the tears that came out earlier when he mentioned her family aren't resurfacing now, "Come with me, please."

Rey blinks, hazel eyes moving from his hand to his face several times, before whispering, "They're not coming back, are they?"

Ben shakes his head.

She sniffles now and steps forward, so she's right in front of him, and she's suddenly sobbing. He pulls her into his arms, resting his chin on her head as he rubs soothing circles on her back, "Shh, sweetheart, shh. It's alright. You're alright," He doesn't even know why he's saying those things, but it sounds right.

After a few minutes of sobbing against his chest, Rey steps back and bites her lip. She looks over her shoulder at the marked wall. Her voice is so low in it's hoarse whisper that he barely catches when she says, "I'm so tired of being alone."

"You're not alone," He holds out his hand, this time as a comfort instead of an offer.

Rey looks back at him, her eyes moving down to his hand. She reaches out and wraps her small one around his bigger one, or tries to, as she says, "Neither are you."

Ben lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. "Listen, I need to leave soon, before Plutt sends out guards looking for me, and you can still come with me."

Rey bites her bottom lip, looking around the small space of her At-At, "Where will we go?"

"Where do you want to go?" Ben asks, because that's the most important question in the world right now.

"Somewhere green with flowers," Rey answers hesitantly, looking down as if embarrassed by her answer.

Ben reaches out and lifts her chin, making her meet his eyes, as he says, "I think I know of a few places like that."

And she flashes him one of her sunny smiles that takes his breath away.

"But we have to leave now."

Rey nods immediately. She looks around and grabs her staff and a doll. She looks at a wilted flower in a pot with something like guilt until he says, "Wherever we end up, I'll get you a flower and help you take care of it so it doesn't wilt."

Rey nods and exits the At-At without looking back.

\-----

"So," Rey begins as they enter space and Ben starts typing in coordinates for their first stop, "where are we going?"

Ben finishes typing the coordinates and turns to her with a small smile. "Devaron," Ben answers casually, "it's a forest planet, and it has an ancient Jedi temple that contains artifacts that my uncle has been wanting me to recover for awhile."

"Why haven't you?" Rey asks.

"My father doesn't really care for the Jedi or the Force," Ben finds himself explaining, "he always puts off Jedi-related jobs for as long as he can."

"And you?"

"I find it fascinating."

Just then Scrapper jumps up out of nowhere and lands in Rey's lap, purring as she scratches behind his long, golden brown ear, and lays himself across her lap. Ben watches this with a sort of awe.

Rey notices his wide eyes and slightly open mouth and says, "What?"

"He's just lying there. He's not begging for food or trying to scratch your eyes out,"

Rey raises a brow.

"That's a kriffing miracle, Rey,"

"Is it?"

Ben nods. "That cat has never once been that affectionate to me. And I'm the one who rescued him."

"You rescued him?" Rey asks, interested as she smooths a hand across the cat's smooth fur.

"Yeah," Ben replies, "he was a stray and obviously underfed. He was just a kitten and I knew if I didn't grab him he wouldn't last much longer so I brought him back to the ship. Dad wasn't happy and Chewie nearly ripped him in a half a few times but he seems to like the ship most of the time."

Rey nods. "It seems like you're good at rescuing things that nobody wants," She whispers, her hand stilling on the cat's back.

Ben knows she's not talking about Scrapper anymore, so he reaches across the space between them and rests his hand on top of hers, "You are wanted."

"Only by you," Her small voice is so pitiful that he wants to crush her in a hug. He doesn't because he fears the wrath of Scrapper if he ends up disturbing the sleeping cat.

"That's not true," Ben states, "Chewie loves you, says you remind him of his wife, and my dad thinks you're awesome."

Rey rolls her eyes.

"It's true," Ben defends, "he says he wishes he had a daughter like you." Okay, so that's not exactly what Han had said, but she doesn't need to be concerned about his parents' schemes to get him to settle down.

"He did?" Rey asks with wide eyes.

"Yes," Ben answers, his hand squeezing hers in what he hopes is a comforting way.

And she smiles again, smaller than the last few times he's seen her smile, but he'll take it.

"Now, c'mon, you're probably starving," Ben says, "let's get some grub and get to sleep."

She perks up at the mention of food and eagerly follows him to the kitchen, hugging Scrapper tightly to her chest.

She sits across from him as they eat leftovers from the other night and laughs at the stupid jokes he tells. She smiles brightly when he tells her about some of the adventures he's been on, about the planets he's seen, and he promises to take her to every one of them.

And he thinks he could get used to this.


	6. Chapter 6

The galaxy is bigger than she ever dreamed. Rey watches out the window as they zip past stars and planets. She knew it was big, they there were a lot of stars and a lot of planets, hundreds even, but she never imagined that space would look like this.

Of course, she's been in space before. She thinks. She remembers being on a ship when she was little, so young she can barely recall the memories, but she only got brief peeks of the space around them; she was so short she could barely see over the control panel.

She sees everything now, and she wonders why she never left before. She'd spent years waiting, and waiting and waiting, on people, her parents, who were never coming back for her. Rey remembers it now, bits and pieces.

She remembers how trashed their ship was, how loose some of the bolts were. She remembers the holes in the seats, not rips but little burns from putting out burning objects on them. She remembers her parents arguments and that bitter smell of something that they used to drink, something they used to drink way too much.

Something they sold her for.

She remembers it now.

Them, running out of money, selling her to Plutt so they could get just one more fix.

And her begging for them not to go.

Rey sneaks little glances towards Ben out of the corner of her eye. Why did he come back for her? Her own parents didn't want her, didn't care for her. But him, a complete stranger, he came back for her.

She doesn't want to ask him.

"So, what else is on Devaron?"

Ben's shoulders lift in a shrug as he turns to face her. "It's a forest planet, lots of trees and rivers. The temple was used as a base for the Republic during the Clone Wars. I don't know much about the rest of the planet though, except that it's part of the Corellian Trade Spine."

"What kind of lifeforms live there?"

Ben smiles widely, excitedly, and says, "That's where things get interesting. The planet is mostly populated by Devaronians. They're a very unique race, and some researchers think they were one of the first races to develop space travel and hyperdrive technology."

Rey nods, engrossed in learning about the race that she'll most likely have to interact with in a few hours. "Do they speak Basic?"

Ben nods. "They have their own language, but most do speak Basic."

"So have you been on this planet before?"

He shrugs. "To fuel up the  _Shadow_  a few times, but I've never stayed and explored."

Rey raises a brow before asking, "Are you going to be able to find the temple without help?"

Ben's dark eyes meet hers as he quips, "Who says I don't have help?"

\-----

Ben hears a soft gasp as he pulls them out of lightspeed. He looks over to find Rey staring down at the completely green planet below them with awed hazel eyes. She turns to him and smiles widely, brightly, and grabs his hand, squeezing through her excitement. Devaron was definitely a good choice.

"Like it?" Ben asks.

Rey turns her eyes back to the planet and says in a hushed whisper, "I've never seen so much green in my life."

He has to hold back a smile at the awe in her voice. "Well, get used to it," Ben says, "you're going to be seeing a lot of green from now on."

Rey turns back to him and he doesn't even have a second to prepare before she jumps out of her seat and pulls him into a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. "Thank you," She whispers against his ear.

"You're welcome," He replies, and he hates to say what he has to say next, "but if you keep blocking my view, we're going to die in a fiery death because I have no idea where we're going."

Rey lets out a surprised "Oh!" and jumps back, quickly moving back to her seat. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, I liked it." Ben says under his breath, not sure if he wants her to hear it or not.

She hears it.

And her cheeks turn an adorable pink, reminding him of flowers his mother used to keep in a vase in their apartment back in Coruscant.

Ben turns his eyes away from her face and back to the planet in front of him. Preparing to land in Tikaroo, a town that he hopes will be receptive to him and his first mate.

\-----

"Do you have a guide arranged for us or something?" Rey asks as they stop of the  _Shadow_ together.

Ben shrugs, thinking about the old family friend that his uncle, Luke, told him about. "Not exactly." He looks around, finding his bearings in this small dirty town, "C'mon, follow me."

They walk down a few streets - a few streets Ben hopes are the ones his uncle told him about - until he finds the house his uncle was described, a bright blue one with a tin roof.

He knocks on the door. A moment later, the door opens revealing a Devaronian woman with red-brown skin and silver-streaked green hair.

Her purple eyes sweep over Rey and Ben in a second before going back to Ben and staying. "You're Skywalker's nephew, aren't you?" She asks in a raspy voice.

"And you're Farnay, hopefully?" Ben asks.

The woman smiles ruefully. "That I am," She answers as she steps back from the door, gesturing for them to enter.

Ben lets Rey walk in first before following her. Farnay nods towards a set of chairs and a sofa, telling them to make themselves comfortable, before disappearing into another room.

Rey looks to Ben with curiosity in her eyes, asking, "Who is she?"

"A family friend, sort of," Ben answers, not totally sure himself.

"How do you know her?" Rey asks, casting a suspicious eye around the dull room, not at all trusting this woman.

"My - "

"His uncle," Farnay interrupts, returning from what Ben assumes was a kitchen with a tray of blue pastries - cookies maybe - and cups of a steaming liquid. "I met Luke first when he was still a handsome young Jedi, now he's just a handsome Jedi," Farnay says with a smile that makes Ben nauseous.

Does she have a thing for crusty Uncle Luke?  _Gross_.

"How'd you two meet?" Rey asks politely, grabbing a few of the maybe-cookies and stuffing one in her mouth. She makes a pleased sound and swallows the cookie whole before stuffing another one in.

"The fool crashed his ship here in Tikaroo when I was young, he was searching for the Temple of Eedit," Farnay explains, picking up a cup of the steaming liquid that Ben now assumes is tea and sips slowly, "He was such a prideful thing back then, thought he could beat anyone. And he had the muscles to prove it."

Yeah, she definitely has a thing for Uncle Luke.

"Anyways, he was stupid enough to use Sarco Plank as his guide. Later on, some troopers arrived and kidnapped me and tried to kill him. Sarco and Luke fought them off, rescuing me, just in time for Sarco to turn on Luke. Luke and I fought him off together . . . " She trails off, obviously remembering something she doesn't want to tell us.

"Do you and Luke still speak?" Rey asks kindly.

Farnay lets out a harsh laugh. "Yes," She shakes her head, "though it's more out of necessity than out of friendship, at least for him it is."

Ben's brow furrows at her phrasing, "Necessity?" Ben asks, "What do you mean - "

Farnay stands immediately interrupting him, "Well, we should get going," Farnay smiles chipperly, though it looks forced, "it'll take a few days for us to get the temple, unless you want to rent some speederbikes?"

Ben immediately shakes his head. "We'd rather walk, explore a little."

Rey turns to him with a wide smile as he says that, already excited about exploring the green planet.

Farnay nods. "Alright, I'll get some supplies for cooking and camping out." She starts to turn towards the door across the room before turning back and narrowing her eyes at Rey, "You might want to get her something else to wear, the nights here get a little cold."

Ben was thinking the same thing. "Any suggestions for where to get something for her?"

Farnay spews out some directions. Two streets down, first store on the left side of the ride. "Be back here when you're ready."

\-----

"You mean, I can get anything I want and you'll pay for it, and I won't have to pay you back?" Rey looks around the clothing store with wide eyes.

Ben nods. "Yeah, have fun. Make sure you get a warm cloak and some comfy boots."

"You're absolutely sure?" Rey asks, still looking at the store like it's a buffet.

"Yes, go nuts," Ben says. "A proper smuggler needs to be properly dressed."

Rey bites her lip as she dives into the racks. It takes her less than ten minutes to pick out what she wants and less than five to try the stuff on.

When she comes out of the changing station, Ben loses the ability to breathe. She's wearing color for the first time. A dark red, short-sleeved dress - more of a tunic really - that lands just a few inches above her knees with a brown leather vest crossing over her chest, a pair of cream-colored leggings are covering her bare legs and knee-high boots are covering her lower legs. . She's still wearing her cream-colored arm wraps, but now she has a pair of dark brown leather gloves over her hands. A cream-colored cap is slung over her arm.

She looks at him nervously, toeing her boots in the store's fine carpet. "How does it look?" She asks, glancing at anything but him, "I've never worn red before - I've never worn any color before - so I wasn't sure what would look good or what would look stupid and I don't want to look stupid if I'm going to helping you do business I don't want to look - "

Ben cuts off her rambling by clearing his throat and saying, "Red is definitely your color," She blushes that pink flower blush as he adds, "You look beautiful."

Rey smiles shyly. "So is this fine for now?"

Ben nods. "Yeah, definitely fine for now."

\-----

Rey walks through the forest next to Ben, staring at her surroundings in awe. She's never seen anything so beautiful in her life. All the different swirlings of greens. She even sees a few flowers, purple and blue ones that she starts to grab before Farnay warns her that they're poisonous. She sadly snatches her hand back.

"Are there many other planets like this?" Rey asks as her eyes flicker from tree to tree. She spots a beautiful golden bird on one tree limb and almost asks what it is when she notices Farnay staring at her with curious eyes. "What?"

"Where are you from, girl?"

Rey sees Ben stiffen at the question. He probably doesn't like the mention of that desert world that had been her home, her prison, for years. After all, he's the one who rescued her from it.

"Nowhere."

Farnay huffs a laugh. "Nobody's from nowhere - "

"Jakku."

Farnay shrugs. "Alright, that trash planet can count as nowhere."

"You've been there?" Rey asks, curiosity eating away at her.

Farnay laughs wryly. "Once, and I hope I never go back."

"Why were you there?" Ben asks, curious now too.

Farnay shrugs. "It was a favor for your uncle actually," She looks them both in the eyes as she adds, "a  _secret_  favor."

And with that she stops talking.

\-----

"Your girl has the Force," Farnay says from across the campfire.

Ben doesn't even look up as he says, "She's not my girl."

Farnay shrugs. "Either way, she has the Force."

Ben's eyes move to look down at the girl in question. Rey. She's sleeping on a log near the campfire with her cloak drawn over her like a blanket, snoring slightly. Her nose wrinkles as she draws her cloak closer, mumbling something indecipherable in her sleep.

"Does she know?"

Ben shakes his head. "I don't know how to tell her."

"She deserves to know."

"How do  _you_ know?" Ben asks, wondering how this random Devaronian woman would sense - "You have the Force."

Farnay nods. "Of course, that's once of the reasons your uncle kept coming back to visit me, to train me in the ways of the Jedi."

"But you're not a Jedi," Ben replies curiously.

Farnay shakes her head with a whisper of a smile on her lips. "No, I'm much too passionate for the Jedi way. Plus, female Devaronians have very short tempers and, as you know, anger is a path to the Dark Side."

Ben nods, knowing that lesson all too well. He remembers how he used to get so angry, have so many tantrums, when he felt the darkness clouding up inside his head, when he heard that voice, and nobody believed him. He remembers that lesson all too well.

"You need to tell her," Farnay says, changing the topic.

"I know." And he will. Soon. Maybe at the temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm trying to use Rey's pov more, though I really prefer Ben's. Also, Farnay is a canonical character. She appears in The Weapon of a Jedi: A Luke Skywalker Adventure. I've never read it, but I tried to get all the facts right. If any of ya have read it, could you tell me if I got Farnay's description right? There was literally no physical description of her so I have no idea what her skin, hair, or eye colors are. I also have no idea what I said about how she met Luke is exactly what happened. It didn't say if she had the Force or not, but I want her to for reasons you'll hear about later. Hope you liked it! Next chapter, we'll be at the temple. Will Ben tell Rey that she has the Force? What will they find?


	7. Chapter 7

It's not that Rey's never heard of rain before, but she's never seen it and she's never felt it.

So when drops of cool water start falling from the sky and landing on her face, she gasps. She gasps loud enough that Ben turns around to see what's wrong and finds her staring up at the sky with her arms spread out and her mouth open, trying to catch the water that's falling freely from the pale green sky.

Rey hears Ben's amused laugh and she immediately straightens, lowering her head to look at him with embarrassment. Kriff, she was acting like a toddler. At least, she assumes that's what toddlers who've actually seen rain before do. She's not sure. She's only ever seen a few toddlers.

"Sorry," Rey mumbles, lowering her eyes to look at Ben's feet instead of his face.

She feels his hand before she sees his hand. He gently caresses her face and rubs the pad of his thumb against her cheek. "Don't apologize," She finally looks up and sees him smiling softly, "you've never seen rain before, have you?"

She shakes her head, feeling as more of the miraculous droplets land on her face, tapping against her skin. She notices that he has rain on his face too. Fat little droplets slide down his face, one goes straight down the center of his forehead and down his nose while another slides down his left cheek.

"It's wonderful," Rey says as she holds out a hand and catches a few drops on her palm, smiling at the feeling of clean water landing on her skin.

Farnay grumbles, "Yeah, it's so great," She runs a hand through her hair and shakes her head. "My hair is going to be so frizzy."

Ben grabs Rey's hand and they start walking through the rain, stopping every once in awhile while Rey admires some new thing she hasn't seen.

\-----

"How are you going to tell her?" Farnay asks, her eyes drifting to Rey's sleeping form.

Ben looks down at the girl, her head is laying in his lap as he runs his fingers through her hair. "I'm not sure."

"Do you want me to do it?"

Ben shakes his head. "She's my responsibility, I'll tell her."

"Hmm," Farnay says, as she watches his shaking hand comb through Rey's hair once more.

\-----

"Is that the temple?" Rey asks as she looks at the sand-colored building that stands out from the rest of the dark green forest.

Ben nods. "That's it."

"It's nice," Rey says.

"It's plainer than I thought it would be," Ben admits with a shrug, some of the most boring looking places have the best finds.

"What are we supposed to getting from here," Rey asks as she looks at the building they're hiking towards, "You said it was a relic."

"Sort of," Ben answers, "It's a Sith artifact, my uncle hid it here, hoping that no Sith would think to look for it in a Jedi temple. He wants it back now."

Farnay turns to look at him with narrow eyes. "Why?"

"Something about one of his students," Ben replies with a shrug, "I'm not entirely sure, but he sounded concerned when he commed me."

Farnay's eyes get impossibly narrower and even a little hostile. "Which student?"

Rey watches Farnay with concerned eyes, not understanding why what Ben says seems to have unraveled the woman so much. Ben stumbles over his next words, "He's an old friend of mine, Kivas. He's Devaronian too, though I think he mentioned he's half-human."

"Kivas," Farnay breathes and immediately shakes her head, letting loose a wry laugh, "that bastard. He didn't tell me any of this. Just that he needed an artifact. But why would the great Luke Skywalker tell anyone, let alone little me, anything about his plans."

"Do you . . . know Kivas?" Ben asks tentatively, aware that he's started something he doesn't know how to finish.

"Do I know Kivas?" Farnay laughs, but not in an amused sort of way, "I should have known he wouldn't tell you. Luke Skywalker never tells anybody anything."

She shakes her head and smiles ruefully. "Ask Luke the next time you speak to him," She points to the temple and says, "You know you're way there. I'm sure you can find you're way back."

She starts to trudge away.

Rey yells, "You're just going to leave us here?"

Farnay shakes her head sadly. "Tell Luke this is not going to go the way he thinks."

And with that she leaves, leaving Rey and Ben alone.

\-----

"What do you think upset her?" Ben asks as they finally walk into the temple.

Rey shakes her head, her loose hair bouncing against her shoulders. "Whoever Kivas is, I think she knows him."

"You think?" Ben asks sarcastically, but not rudely.

Rey shrugs. "I think she cares for him."

"He's a little too young for her, Rey."

"Not in that way," Rey says, scrunching her nose at the suggestion, "like family."

Ben catches what she's saying. "You think they're related?"

Rey nods.

Ben thinks about the definite possibility of their relation. Kivas is Devaronian, albeit half Devaronian. He has same reddish brown skin and his hair is the same dark green color, though his eyes are a light blue color. A familiar light blue color.

And then it hits him.

"Kriff," Ben says, "I think I know why she was so mad."

Rey raises her brows at him, clearly intrigued.

"Luke is Kivas' father," Ben says, explaining, "she said that there was more reasons to why he kept coming to visit her. And Kivas has the same eye color as my uncle, but blue eyes aren't at all common in Devaronians. Like it's a one in a million chance."

"That would explain why she's angry, especially if Luke didn't mention that he was trying to get an artifact for their son," Rey replies.

"We need to find this thing, and get out of here," Ben says, shaking his head at the impossibility of him having a cousin, "My uncle and I need to have words."

They venture into the temple fully, both admiring the carvings that adorn the walls. "How old is this place?"

Ben shrugs. "Pretty old, I guess. I don't know much about it though, except that it was mainly populated by women."

Rey raises a brow. "Why?"

"Because all the Devaronian men were too busy traveling the galaxy to be trained."

Rey suddenly stops and Ben stops with her, watching as her face goes from interested to scared. Her hand trembles as she reaches out to the wall closest to her to steady herself. She lifts her other hand to her head and shakes her head, furrowing her brow at it.

"What's wrong, Rey?" Ben asks with a sharp edge to his tone, not directing that sharpness at her but at whatever's hurting her.

Rey shakes her head. "Something here . . . Something doesn't feel right, Ben. Something feels  _dark_."

Ben catches her eyes and holds her terrified gaze for a second before slipping his ring of his finger and into his pocket, immediately feeling what she's feeling. The darkness, the wrongness, this isn't any Sith artifact. This is a dark thing, used for many dark and evil purposes.

"I feel it too."

"How," Rey starts, something wet in her eyes as she asks, " _How_  am I feeling this, Ben?"

It's time, he knows. He has to tell her. But what does he say? He doesn't want her to think he's lied to her. He doesn't want her to hate him. He can't stand the idea of her hating him.

"You're special, Rey," Ben starts. Now how does he finish it? "You have the Force, like me." Kriff, that was terrible. Why can't he be as charismatic as his father or his mother?

"What?" Rey looks at him with wide eyes, and they're not hurt or hate-filled but he's terrified.

"You have the Force."

Rey shakes her head. "No, I can't do the things you can do. I'm normal. I'm nobody." She keeps shaking her head, almost as if she's in shock. "I'm nothing," She finally whispers.

And Ben can't have her saying that.

He strides forward, grabbing her face in his large hands and saying, "You are something, Rey. You are special. You are not nothing."

"I am, I was to -"

Ben shakes his head, already knowing what she was going to say.  _I was to them._  Her parents, the trash that abandoned such a precious miracle. What his parents would have given to have another child, and those idiots just threw their gift away like garbage.

"You'll never be nothing to me," He says, hating how awkwardly the words slip off his tongue. They would be nice words from anyone else, but to his own ears they sound wrong. Like every other word he speaks to her. Why would she -

"You'll never be nothing to me either, Ben," She whispers, looking up at him with those wide hazel eyes.

His eyes flick down to her lips, and he wants to kiss her. Force, he wants to kiss her. But he won't. She just found out about a part of her, something that's different and gives her so many options. She could be a Jedi for Force sake, and he wants her to choose for herself before he messes it up.

But he  _can_  hug her. So he does. He pulls her against him and rubs soothing circles on her back as she rests her head against his chest and wraps her arms around his waist. He almost sighs as she nuzzles her nose against his chest.

They stand like that for what feels like hours but was probably only a few minutes. "We should go find the relic," Rey mutters, stepping away from him.

"Yeah, the sooner we find it, the sooner I can kick my uncle's ass."

Rey giggles slightly and follows him as he feels out in the Force, trying to find the artifact as quickly as he can. They pass several hallways, turning on many corridors before, and as they get closer the darkness gets worse, more suffocating.

Rey has trouble keeping up as the darkness threatens to swallow her, but Ben knows this feeling. He'd felt it his whole life until he started wearing his ring. It feels as natural as breathing air for him, granted it's like toxified air but air none the less.

It's like those nightmares he used to have. He got so used to him that he barely noticed when he had an actual dream, though it still messed him up to have one of the nightmares all the same.

"How are you so calm right now?" Rey asks as she reaches out to steady herself against a wall.

"The Dark Side has a way of curling into my family," Ben finds himself saying, "like an old friend, ready to stab you in the back."

"Have you ever used the Dark Side?" Rey asks quietly.

Ben shrugs before turning to look at her. He needs to explain it properly. "The Dark Side in itself isn't bad; if used by the right person, it can be used for good. I never use it to do harm on others, if I even use the Force at all."

"Show me," Rey whispers.

"Are you sure?" Ben asks, not wanting to scare her away.

Rey nods. "I need to feel it."

Ben nods. He doesn't know what to do until he does it. He uses the Force to trace across the skin of her cheek, tapping into a passion he long thought buried. She shivers as the phantom hand traces across the line of her jaw and back up her cheek, slowly and gently.

"You feel that?" He asks quietly, gently, as if not to scare her.

She nods, just a jerk of her head, but it's enough to break the spell. He pulls back the Force, tearing the phantom hand away from her. 

"Did that feel evil?" He almost hates to voice the question, but he needs to know if he's lost her. It's better in the long run if she thinks so, they would have never lasted if she couldn't accept his darkness.

His eyes close as he waits for her answer, not wanting to see the hatred that could possibly be on her face.

Something soft strokes across his cheek and his eyes open to find a tender look on her face as she replies, "Not even remotely."

Ben lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding as he says, "Good, that's really good." He clears his throat before he can do anything stupid and nods towards the direction he thinks the artifact is in. "We should grab that thing and get going."

Rey nods. "Yeah, definitely."

\-----

The room they walk into is dark. One stream of light shines down onto an object that sits on a podium in the center of the room. It's a vase of some type, but Rey doesn't know much about art or anything other than mechanic.

But Ben obviously does.

Ben freezes as soon as he sees the object in the middle of the room.

"Ben," Rey says, "what is it?"

It takes him a moment to respond, but when he does Rey feels a chill run down her spine at the tone in his voice. "It's a Spirit urn," His eyes don't leave the black urn that seems to suck out of the life out of the room, "but it's not just any spirit urn, it was Palpatine's."

Rey raises her brows. "The emperor?"

"The Dark Lord of the Sith," Ben corrects, something sharp cuts through his tone as he adds, "master of Darth Vader."

" _The_  Darth Vader?" Rey asks, knowing the name. She knows that he slaughtered so many people. She knows that he enslaved the Wookies. She knows that he signed off on the Death Star plans and destroyed Alderaan.

Ben nods. "My grandfather."

Rey's eyes nearly pop out of her head. "Your grandfather? Darth Vader was your grandfather?"

"Only by genetics, my mother was raised by her adoptive father Bail Organa and my uncle was raised by his aunt and uncle on Tattoine. It's not something they like people to know, and my mother has never once claimed him as her father."

"I can see why."

\-----

Ben shrugs. He strides to the middle of the room and grabs the vase, immediately slipping  his ring back on so he does have to feel the waves of darkness emanating from it. He notices Rey shiver when he brings it closer to her. He'll have to get her a ring too. A Force suppression ring, not a wedding ring.

Kriff, if his father could have heard that he'd be jumping for joy. 

"Darth Vader was once Anakin Skywalker, a young Jedi Knight who was even a decorated war hero, and an incredible pilot. He saved many lives, and lots of people loved him," Ben explains as they start to make their way back through the temple, "including his wife, Padme."

"Padme?" Rey questions, the name probably sounds familiar to her.

"Padme Amidala," Ben answers, smiling faintly, "my grandmother. She was the Queen of Naboo, a planet I'm taking you to at some point, and a Senator for the Galactic Republic. She was an incredible woman from all I've heard, she fought very hard for democracy. And she was a fashion icon during her short life."

"How'd she die?" Rey asks.

"Childbirth."

"Oh."

Ben shrugs it off.

"What's Naboo like?" Rey asks, changing the topic.

Ben smiles widely. "It's gorgeous, especially the Lake Country. You'll love it. I have a house there and everything."

"You do?"

Ben nods, explaining, "My grandmother had an older sister who was given my grandmother's properties, until it became common knowledge that my mother and uncle were Padme's children. My grandmother's sister gave my family one of my grandmother's houses, a house by a huge lake.

"I can't wait," Rey says as she smiles.

"Me either."

\-----

They make it out of the temple safely - though Ben is suspicious about the lack of traps - and upon seeing the outside, they notice that the _Shadow_  is sitting right in front of the temple. 

"What the hell is my ship doing here?" Ben asks.

They make their way to it to find Farnay standing just inside it, leaning against a wall and picking at her finger nails.

"Hello, kids."

"What the hell?" Ben asks. "You left us here to run back as quick as you can and steal my ship. How'd you even get back so fast?"

She shrugs. "I commed an old friend for a speederbike. And I brought you your ship, peacefully. Even after I was attacked by your demon cat."

Rey frowns immediately heading for the cat that looks at Farnay with resigned hate and at Rey with complete adoration.

"Look," Farnay says, "I want to come with you. Luke's got a beating waiting for him, and I feel like you understand."

"I think I do," Ben says quietly.

Farnay eyes him with curiosity. "Then you figured it out?"

"That depends," Ben admits before asking her the question he needs an answer for, "Do I have a cousin?"

Farnay doesn't even take a moment to answer. "Yes."

And Ben's world flips upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah . . . I did that. In case y'all didn't know, Kivas is actually Farnay's father's name. I just didn't know what Devaronians name their children so I went with her father's name. Hope you guys liked it. All your comments make me so happy. If I don't answer yours, it's because I have no idea what to say and I think thank you is too generic. I really am glad you like my story and I am so grateful that you all like it so much, it really gives me hope that maybe I can actually right my own stuff one day. Anyways, thanks! I love you all! You're the best! More Reylo, sort of maybe angst stuff up next. I swear this isn't meant to be a slow burn.


	8. Chapter 8

Ben knew they were too late when he saw smoke rising from the trees in the direction of the academy on Yavin IV. When they touch down, he barely slows down long enough to lower the ramp before running out towards the burning ruins of the place he had once called home.

He find his uncle a few feet away from where he touched down. The great Luke Skywalker is on his knees, staring at the destruction of all his hopes and dreams.

He is staring at the ruins of the New Jedi order.

"Uncle," Ben whispers, swallowing the acrid smell of smoke.

His uncle doesn't turn to look at Ben as he says, "It's all gone," His voice is hoarse, from tears or from smoke or both, "They're all gone, Ben."

Ben has to swallow his own tears. Many of the kids had been mean to Ben, saying that he got special praises from Luke because they were related. They called him things like big-ear Ben. They made fun of him for having a Wookie as a best friend.

But many others had been kind. They asked him questions about his parents' legendary tales. They played with him with Chewie whenever he came to visit. They defended his big ears.

And now they were all gone.

"Why didn't you come sooner with that thing?" Luke asks harshly. Ben turns to find Farnay standing with the Spirit urn in her arms and tears in her eyes.

Ben turns an accusing eyes on his uncle. He has no right to have that tone in his voice. "I didn't know it was this important, just like I didn't know that I have a cousin."

Luke inhales sharply before finally turning to Ben and the look in his eyes hurts Ben. Those aren't the eyes of his cheerful uncle. Those aren't the eyes of his father's best friend. Those are the eyes of a man whose give up. Those are the eyes of a man who has nothing left to live for.

"You told him," Luke says to Farnay without taking his eyes off Ben.

Farnay huffs. "He guessed, laserbrain." She looks at the devastation around her with worry in her eyes as she whispers, "You should have told him long ago."

"Kivas didn't need to know that I'm his father," Luke explains, "it would have only made him fall deeper into the Dark Side, knowing he had a connection to Darth Vader. We would have lost him so much sooner."

"Fall deeper?" Ben asks, confusion coloring his voice.

Farnay looks him dead in the eye. "Do you think I would have sent my own son to live with Luke unless I had no other choice? He was falling so deep into the darkness that I couldn't reach him. I thought his father might be able to help him."

"I only failed him," Luke says mournfully.

"Why'd you want a Dark Side object?" Rey asks, finally stepping off the  _Shadow_.

Luke looks at her with recognition in his eyes, not the recognition like you'd show someone you know but the recognition of a Force-user to another Force-user. "I wanted to see if he'd be able to resist such a powerful Dark Side relic," Luke explains. "I now know he would have failed miserably."

Farnay whispers through gritted teeth, "What happened, Luke?"

"There was too much darkness in him, Farnay," Luke says pleadingly, "Our son was gone, succumbed to the Dark Side, seduced by Snoke."

 _Snoke_. The name sounds familiar, like something whispered behind a closed door that he could only hear halfway through.

Snoke.

He remembers.

The darkness whispering in his ear, curling up in his mind. A harsh voice, almost always snarling, as it told him lies about his parents. As it said that he was a burden to his mother. As it whispered treacherous lies that his father didn't want him, that his father wanted a son more like him. It told him that he wasn't good enough at his technique for Luke. It told him that all those kids that had been nice to him were talking about him behind his pack.

Finally, Ben reached back and felt a darkness so encompassing, so evil, that he withdrew and asked Luke to help him find something to suppress his Force powers.

He knows who it was now.

Snoke. 

"Snoke seduced Kivas to the Dark Side when he couldn't seduce me," Ben says quietly, looking at Luke for confirmation.

Luke nods. "I thought Kivas would go the same path as you," Luke explains, "but Snoke knew things. Snoke told Kivas things, things that I should have told him years ago, and twisted his ignorance into hatred."

"What else happened, Luke?" Farnay asks in a harsh voice. "Our son didn't just wake up and decide to become a murderer, something must have happened to turn my sweet little boy into a cold-blooded killer."

Luke looks at her for far too long, with far too much guilt in his eyes, before looking away and saying, "Nothing."

But Ben knows that's not the truth. And so does everybody else.

"What do you want to do, Uncle Luke?" Ben asks, trying to distract Farnay from asking more questions about Kivas.

Luke snorts a harsh laugh before saying, "Obviously, my ideas aren't worth following, find somebody else to make plans."

"You're the only one who knows the truth about what's happening," Rey interjects.

"This isn't my problem anymore," Luke says bitterly, "My Jedi are all gone. I failed them, not just adults, but teenagers. Children. Nearly all destroyed or turned, and my own son . . . My son is gone."

"My son is gone," He repeats to himself, quietly, as his eyes drift away from the people in front of him and follow something long in the distance, "I have nothing left."

His eyes snap back to Ben and the darkness surfacing in those light blue eyes that he's only seen kindness and light in makes Ben take a step back. "I'm done saving the galaxy, it's your turn. If you think the galaxy is even worth saving."

With that the last Jedi Master, the might war hero of the Rebel Alliance, turns on his heel and walks away, striding towards a beat up X-Wing with not even his lightsaber on his hip.

And none of the people watching him try to stop him.

Ben watches as his uncle flies away, his mind yelling for the old man to go away and recuperate while his heart screams for his uncle to come back and help him.

"He's your uncle?" Rey asks, probably not seeing the resemblance physically, or in attitude.

"No," Ben whispers, "that was a shell of my uncle."

Farnay nods. "Luke Skywalker is no more," She agrees, her eyes finds Ben's and he sees something in her eyes that reminds him of the uncle he just lost, "but my son can still be saved, and he will be if I have anything to say about it."

Ben knows what she's going to ask before she asks it. Ben knows what his answer is to the question she hasn't even voiced.

"Will you help me save my son from himself?" Farnay asks in a steely tone, reminding him so much of his strong mother, but he can hear the desperation that threatens to crack through. This is a mother, pleading for her son's salvation.

He can see the agony in her eyes at the thought of losing him.

That's why Ben says, "Yes."

Rey looks between them for a moment, her eyes lingering on Farnay, and she must see what Ben sees because she says, "I would like to help too," She places a comforting hand on Farnay's shoulder. "He can't be too far gone if he has a mother like you, I only wish my own mother had cared as much for me as you do for him."

Farnay nods, allowing a single tear to slide down her cheeks before she straightens and wipes that tear away. "We head to Coruscant," Farnay suggests, "your mother and I need to have a talk."

"Why?" Ben asks though he already knows the answer.

"A new war is about to begin," Farnay replies darkly. She turns and boards the  _Shadow_  without looking back.

\-----

"Benjamin Chewbacca Organa Solo!" His mother's voice booms as soon as he walks through the door. She stalks towards him with her eyes clouded by anger and he takes a step back, hearing Rey grumble as she walks into his back. "You are in for a world of trouble, young man!"

The short woman walks up to him, staring up at him with dark eyes that have never failed to make him feel like a five year-old who got his hand stuck in the cookie jar. "Do you know how worried I've been? Do you have any idea what's happened while you were off gallivanting around with your stupid cat in that piece of junk you call a ship?"

"I - "

"No, of course you don't because you never check your damn comms!" She yells, reaching up and grabbing his ear, though she has to stand on her tiptoes, "You absolute nerfherder, I've been worried to death about you! When I felt the deaths at the academy, I thought maybe you had been there and that's why you weren't answering."

She jerks his ear, pulling him down to her, before releasing the ear and wrapping her tiny arms around him. He pulls her into a tight hug, bending over as much as he can so she can put her head in the crook of his neck like she likes to do. "You need a haircut," She whispers against his ear.

It pulls a laugh out of him, even with the grief of his losses still fresh in his mind. "I know, Mama."

She huffs and pulls back, pointing her finger at him as she warns, "If you ever go more than one day without comming me back, I swear I will come and find you wherever you are in this huge galaxy and I will take you across my knee and whip your buttocks, no matter how old you or who is watching. Do you hear me, young man?"

Ben rolls his eyes, though he knows full well that his mother will do that. "Yes, m'am."

That's when Rey peeks out from behind Ben's tall form and waves slightly. To his utter dismay, his mother shrieks and grabs the poor girl into a hug of her own. Rey looks at him with wide, confused eyes and he just shrugs, though he knows that his father's probably told his mother some interesting stories about the girl Han thinks would make him a great daughter-in-law.

"Is this Rey?" Leia asks, pulling back to look the girl over with scrutinizing eyes, "Han told me she was a looker, and smart as a whip too. Oh, I'm so excited to meet you, Rey!"

Rey nods and stutters, "I'm glad to meet you too."

"Where are my manners," Leia asks herself before gesturing around the living room of her apartment, "Please come in, make yourselves at home," Leia watches as Ben and Rey go directly to the couch before adding, "including you, Farnay."

Farnay steps out of the shadows of the corridor outside of the door and smiles as much as she can in her state. "Leia," She says like she's greeting an old friend, "it's lovely to see you ago."

Leia smiles softly. "You as well, my friend."

"You two know each other?" Ben asks, he thought his mother didn't know anything about Farnay.

"She's the mother of my only nephew," Leia says, as if this was common news for years, "of course I know her."

"You knew about Kivas?" Rey asks.

Leia nods. "Yes, I advised my idiot brother to tell the boy the truth, but Luke is such a laserbrain that he didn't listen to me and begged me to keep the secret."

"But you didn't even tell me," Ben accuses.

"It wasn't my secret to tell, honey," His mother says and he folds his arms over his chest. No, it wasn't her secret to tell, but it was Luke's and she could have convinced Uncle Luke to tell him if she thought about it. But she didn't.

"What happened at the academy?" Leia asks, suddenly becoming all business.

"One of the students betrayed the academy," Ben states, "he was seduced to the Dark Side."

Leia looks at Farnay with new eyes and guesses, "It was Kivas, wasn't it?"

Farnay looks down at her bare feet as she nods. "Yes, my son betrayed the Jedi." Her voice sounds even smokier than usual, tinted with the hoarseness of tears that she hid during their journey here.

Leia nods. "Why are you here then? Where's Luke?"

Ben's hands tighten where they clutch his upper arms. "Uncle Luke is gone."

"Dead?" Leia asks fearfully.

"No, just gone," Ben explains, "I think he needs time to come to terms with what happened, though he'll never be the same."

Leia shakes her head mournfully. "No, he raised most of those children from baby up," Leia states, "losing them had to crush him under a rock he'll never be able to push away."

Ben nods, knowing just how much his uncle loved those children, they were all as precious to him as Ben is to his mother.

"What do you need from me, Farnay?" Leia asks in her diplomatic tone. Ben knows that tone means she's ready for whatever they ask of her.

Farnay responds in steely tone, "War is starting, Leia. Don't lie to me and tell me you haven't felt the stirrings."

Leia purses her lips. "You still haven't said what you need from me."

Farnay smirks. "Well, when darkness rises to power, light always rises to destroy it," Farnay looks straight at Ben's mother, and he know she's seeing past the greying of her hair and the wrinkles lining her skin and instead seeing the woman she is inside. "You were part of that light the last time darkness rose."

Leia smiles at the memory of her beloved Rebel Alliance, the friends and family she made in it. "I was."

"This time, I need you to be the light that rises. I need you to lead the rebellion against the man who thinks he's laid claim to my son's soul." Farnay speaks with such conviction that Ben finds himself sitting forward, listening to each word as it pounds in his very soul.

This call for rebellion.

Leia's lips twist into a sly smile and Ben thinks he sees the young woman who led men into battle. The young woman who resisted Darth Vader's torture. The young woman who rose from the ashes of her destroyed planet and became a voice for democracy. He sees the woman who fought the Empire for the first time in years.

"It's not going to be a rebellion this time," His mother speaks with a fiery conviction, so different from the soft voice that used to read him his bedtime stories but still the same, "This time, it's going to be a resistance."

It shocks him when the next voice that speaks is lilted with a strange accent and belongs to the woman beside him. "Then let's resist."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Farnay ended up being a more important character in this than I originally intended her to be, but shit happens. I literally winging this. And yes, it will get a little bit darker as we go farther along. Um . . . I love Leia, just so everybody knows. I feel like during the years after the war, she felt a little out of place. For years, during the years that most people find out who they are, she was commanding in a war. She was giving orders and fighting. So I feel like part of her stayed in the war and now that there's a threat, she's ready to defend, to rise. At least, that's how I've written and will continue to write her. Hope you all liked this chapter! I can't wait until I have time to update the next. Which honestly might be tonight, or tomorrow night.


	9. Chapter 9

Poe Dameron is an odd man, to say the least.

He's handsome with dark hair and tan skin, eyes that glitter with mischief, but he's far too flirtatious, especially towards Rey. She doesn't like it, preferring Ben's quiet to Poe's noise. She sidles closer to Ben and Poe takes the hint, turning his gaze to Ben who smiles at him like she's seen him smile at Chewie.

"Hey, flyboy, how's being a captain treating you?" Ben asks as he surges forward, pulling the shorter man into a hug and clapping him on the back.

"Good," Poe answers as his eyes become even more mischievous, "though I suspect not as well as smuggling is treating you."

"What makes you think that?" Ben asks with a laugh.

Poe's eyes find Rey and he says, "Well, my first mate isn't nearly as attractive as yours." He adds a wink in Rey's direction for good measure.

Ben shrugs. "I got lucky, it's hard to find someone that gorgeous in the galaxy."

Rey blushes at the compliment and Ben smiles a small secretive smile.

Poe rolls his eyes. "I suppose those lessons in flirting I gave you when we were younger have paid off." Poe smirks as he looks at Rey and quips, "I taught him everything he knows, sweetie."

Ben glares at his friend and jokingly shoves him. "Piss off, I learned quite well on my own."

Poe raises his brows. "Don't let your mom hear that, she thinks you're an innocent angel."

Rey watches as Ben chuckles, admiring the sound that's somehow even deeper than his voice, "She also thinks that you're the greatest pilot in the galaxy."

"That's because I - "

"I am," Ben says cockily.

"Wanna race?" Poe challenges.

"Only if we put money on it," Ben answers.

"You're that sure of yourself?"

Ben nods. "Yes."

"No Force using, that's cheating."

Ben rolls his eyes. "You know I don't use the Force unless it's life or death."

Poe shrugs. "True enough."

Rey watches as they start to walk away, towards the speeder Ben and Rey rode in to meet Poe here. And suddenly the panic starts to seize her.

He's leaving her. He's leaving her here in this crowd of people. She's never been around so many people. How are there this many people in one spaceport, let alone one galaxy. It's overwhelming. She can feel them. She's never felt people before, but she can feel them. Not the simple brushes of their bodies against hers but the brushes of their minds against hers, except they aren't brushes. Their minds feel like they're slamming against hers and she's never felt so alone and - 

"Rey," Ben's urgent voice cuts through the panic clouding her mind, "look at me."

His eyes are on hers and she's looking but all she's feeling is  _them_. There's so many, so unaware of the turmoil in her mind as they go about their every day lives. How does anyone get used to this? How does anyone - 

"Rey," Ben shakes her shoulders, "look at me and only me, focus on me."

She focuses on him. Counting the flecks of lighter brown in his dark eyes, connecting the dots of the beauty marks on his face. She traces the line of his nose and his lips, trying and trying to focus on something other than the noise in her mind.

Something closes around her hand, slipping something cool against her palm, and the noise cuts out.

She's alone in her mind and her body again and she's tired, so tired.

Her legs start to give out from under her but Ben easily pulls her up into his arms, cradling her against his chest and carrying her like she weighs nothing.

"I thought you were leaving me," Rey whispers, knowing that if she weren't so exhausted she would have never dared utter those words, utter her weakness.

"I would never," Ben promises in an iron-like voice that echos his iron-tight grip on her body.

"Please don't leave me," Rey begs as she starts to fall down some deep hole, drowning in sleep's caress.

She thinks she hears Ben softly say, "I won't," before she's drowned in the blackness.

\-----

"What happened, Ben?" Poe asks as he follows Ben through the door to Leia's apartment.

Ben sighs and slowly, gently, lays the girl down on the couch, pulling a cover off the back and throwing it over her for warmth. He sits down next to her head and runs his fingers through her hair. Smiling as she wrinkles her nose in her sleep.

"She's Force-sensitive," Ben replies with the only answer he can think of at the moment, something strange happened earlier and he's still trying to wrap his mind around it.

"That's it?" Poe asks.

Ben shrugs. "She's untrained, the Force is only just now starting to wake up in her and she can't control it. She was sensing everybody in that spaceport's life, feeling the way the Force moves through them, and she couldn't turn it off."

Poe nods as if he understands but Ben can see the hopeless confusion in his eyes. He's never been helpful with Jedi stuff, but Ben never holds it against him. "Have you ever felt like that?"

Ben snorts. "That's one of the reasons I was sent to the academy."

"There's something else, Ben," Poe says quietly, "something you're not telling me about what happened earlier. How'd you even know what was happening? She didn't call out, but all of a sudden you were turning around and your eyes were filled with the most panic I've ever seen out of you."

Ben's hand stills in her hair and his eyes lower from Poe's.

Because he has no idea what happened.

"I felt it," Ben answers.

"What?"

"I felt it, Poe," Ben explains, "I felt her feelings, her panic, her terror, I felt it all."

Poe looks at him with wide eyes, then his eyes lower to Rey, staring at her with something like apprehension. "But you were wearing your ring until you gave it to her."

"I know," Ben says, his eyes now landing on his hand, his shaking hand, "that's what scared me the most."

\-----

The raspy voice of Ben's mother flows into Rey's ears as her eyes start to flutter open. Rey yawns silently as she looks around and finds Leia and Farnay sitting on something they call a "loveseat" across the room and Poe in the chair in the corner. Han Solo is leaning against a wall, watching Leia speak.

What she's speaking about, Rey has no idea.

" - Hoth is too damn cold, that was the worst idea for a base we ever had." Rey hears Leia say.

Poe suggests something, a planet name she thinks, and Leia types something into a holopad.

Rey starts to ask what's going on when Ben leans down - she didn't even know he was there - and whispers in her ear, "They're trying to think of a base for the Resistance if it becomes necessary."

Rey sits up and looks at him, watching him as he assesses her with concern. "What happened - " She starts to ask when Han notices her awake.

"Sleeping beauty is finally awake," Han says, walking over and messing up her hair. "You gave us a real scare kid."

"Nearly gave Ben a heart attack," Poe adds.

"I - I don't really remember what happened," Rey says, looking to Ben for an explanation.

Ben wraps an arm around her shoulder, comfortingly pulling her against him. "The Force awakened a little inside you, and you didn't know how to quiet it."

And Rey remembers a little, she remembers the panic that set into her and chilled her to her very bones.

"Is it always going to be like that?" Rey asks, gulping down her terror at feeling like that again.

Ben shakes his head. "No, I'll teach you."

"And if I can't be taught?" Rey asks, knowing that she's hopeless at everything other than languages and machines.

"Then I'll get you a ring."

Han's eyes widen with excitement at the proclamation and Leia gasps, putting a hand over her mouth in shock.

Ben clarifies, "A  _Force suppression_  ring."

And Rey wonders what kind of ring they thought he was talking about.

"Can we get back to talking about the base now?" Ben asks, trying to change the subject and get the eyes off of them.

Poe nods, inclining his head to the holopad in Leia's lap. "What do you think of Iego? We could try and construct the laser field the Confederacy of Independent Systems made and keep people out unless we wanted them in, the thousands of moons made that incredibly easy."

"No," Leia says, shaking her head as a far-off look enters her eyes, "I don't like the Angels. They remind me of things best left forgotten."

Poe nods. "There's always Jakku - "

Both Rey, Ben, Han, and Farnay all shout "No" before Poe can even finish.

"Alright, tough crowd," Poe mutters before saying, "What about D'Qar?"

Leia doesn't immediately turn it down.

"What's it like there?" Rey asks, ever curious about every planet she can hear about.

Ben shrugs. "Sort of like Devaron, a green planet, mostly covered in jungles or forests, though the sky is blue there."

Rey nods, liking the answer.

"I haven't heard a no," Poe says into the quiet of the room.

Leia's eyes dart to him and she shushes him. "I'm thinking."

Han snorts. "This'll take awhile."

Ben winces at the glare his mother throws her husband. Even Rey knows that Hans going to be in trouble later.

"We should all go to bed," Ben suggests, trying to clear the air, "it's been a long day, and we're all tired. Maybe some sleep will help us clear our heads."

Poe looks at him with relief and praise in his eyes. "Yes, please." Leia turns her glare on him and he coughs to cover his excitement. "I mean, I totally agree that we all need some rest and relaxation, you know. Um, poor Rey is probably really tired."

Leia's eyes soften as they land on Rey. "Fine," Everybody starts to rush out of the room, including Han, "not you, you scruffy-looking nerfherder, we're going to have a talk."

Han freezes, looking over at Ben with pleading, horror-filled eyes.

Ben just shakes his head and grabs Rey's hand, pulling her farther out of the room.

She hears Han fake a hurt tone as he says, "Who's scruffy-looking?"

And then she's being tugged into a room.

It only takes her a second to realize that it's Ben's.

\-----

Ben releases a sigh as he flops down on his bed, grateful that he doesn't have to hear his parents fighting in front of Rey.

Rey.

Ben sits up straight and looks at the girl standing in front of his door.

The girl he dragged into his room without even thinking.

Kriff, his parents are going to have some nice things to say in the morning.

"Hi," He says as her eyes snap to his.

"Hi."

He pats the mattress beside him, wondering if it's a good idea for him to invite her into his bed. Maker, even in his head that sounds weird. "Poe and Farnay have taken the guest rooms for themselves, so you'll have to have mine."

"Oh," Rey eyes the bed suspiciously.

"I'll sleep on the couch," Ben offers. "I'll go in there once my parents are done with their argument."

Rey raises a brow. "I'm not going to kick you out of your bed."

"Well I'm not letting you sleep on the couch or the floor," Ben stubbornly says. He might've been raised by a criminal, but he knows how to treat a lady. And it's not by letting her sleep on the couch or the floor when she can sleep in his bed.

"Why can't we just share?" Rey asks like it's no big deal.

Ben looks at the still-empty mattress beside him. "I thought that would be weird to you."

Rey's brows furrow and she shrugs. "Sleeping on a bed is going to be weird for me, I've only ever slept in my hammock or on the ground, or in the bunks on the  _Shadow_."

"And that's basically like sleeping on the ground," Ben says, admitting to himself that he needs to get new mattresses whenever he has some extra credits.

Rey nods, still looking at the mattress like it's a foreign object.

"Well," Ben starts, trying to come up with a compromise, "how about we both sleep on the floor?"

Rey looks at him like he's crazy, and maybe he is, but he's not letting her sleep on the ground without him.

He grabs the pillows off his bed and pulls the covers up too. He sits on the floor beside her and grabs her hand, pulling her down to the floor with him. He lies down, putting a pillow underneath his head and offering one to her.

She takes the pillow and puts it under her head like he did his but then her lips twist into an adorable frown and she scoots it away, putting her head on his chest and smiling a little. "Much better, your chest is more ground-like than pillow like."

"I'm taking that as a compliment," Ben says through his amusement, trying to withhold a chuckle.

"You should," Rey mutters.

A few moments later and Ben looks down to find her asleep, snoring lightly, with her head on his chest and one of her hands resting above where his heart beats. He wraps his arms around her small body and tries to ignore how right she feels in his arms as he falls into a deep sleep of his own.

\-----

Ben wakes up to find Rey staring up at him with those wide hazel eyes that he can't seem to turn away from. "What are you looking at?" He asks, voice raspy from sleep.

"Did you know that you talk in your sleep?" Rey asks casually.

Ben raises a brow, hoping against hope that he didn't say anything too embarrassing. He's not hoping for no embarrassment. He's never lucky enough to get away with no embarrassment.

"No, I didn't," He replies, looking down at her as she giggles slightly. "What did I say?"

Rey shrugs. "Something about how Scrapper stole your flatcakes so you were going to throw him in the trash compactor."

Thank the Force, the Maker, and anyone else who might be listening. He didn't say something terribly embarrassing.

Rey giggles at the silly expression that must be on his face, and then she jumps up and heads to the door. "You also said that I'm a lot prettier than Chewie, which I decide to take as a compliment though I'm not sure Chewie would feel the same."

"Oh, you little minx," Ben says as he jumps up to follow her.

She runs out the door, running towards the living room with giggles cascading out of her mouth. He follows her and catches up with her quickly, grabbing her around the waist and tickling her as they enter the living room.

He revels in her laughter.

Until someone clears their throat and they both look up to find Poe, Ben's parents, and Farnay staring at them with expressions of extreme worry and concern. And something else.

Fear.

Something happened last night.

"What happened?" Ben asks sharply, immediately withdrawing his hands from Rey's sides and instead placing a comforting one on her back.

Rey doesn't shrug it off.

"The first attack," Poe says.

"Reports say that a horned figure in a mask led the attack," Farnay says, swallowing her obvious distaste as she continues, "with a red lightsaber."

Horns are what gives him away, male Devaronians always have horns.

Kivas.

With a mask and a red saber, like a Sith.

"They're calling themselves the First Order," Han adds, shaking his head at the mess they've gotten themselves into.

Leia's voice is quiet, deadly, as she whispers, "And they're leaving no survivors"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one night! I'm in a writing mood tonight, guys, though I'm pretty sure that was definitely the last update for tonight. I tried to get some fluff in there. Whatcha guys think? Was Ben sensing Rey's feelings in the spaceport the beginning of a Force bond? Would their Force bond be stronger than Ben's Force suppression ring? I tried to get some fluff in there a little at the end before we start back into the heavy stuff. I don't know what's going on next chapter, I have to admit that this is not planned out at all it's just happening. Thanks for reading, love all the comments!


	10. Chapter 10

"What's our first course of action?" Poe asks, already shifting into the soldier he was raised to be.

Farnay answers before anyone else, her eyes shifting to Rey, "We need to get that one a lightsaber and start training her." Ben opens his mouth to argue when she adds, "And you need to stop wearing that damn ring."

"No," Ben says simply.

"Excuse me?" Farnay says, narrowing her eyes.

"Read my lips," Ben says, "N - O. No."

"Ben!" His mother looks at him with wide eyes, shocked by his rudeness.

Ben shakes his head, not even Rey squeezing his hand can stop him from saying what he says next, "You guys don't understand."

He steps away from Rey and points to Farnay as he asks, "Did you really think that Kivas was Snoke's first choice as an apprentice?"

Farnay gapes at him and starts to say something when he shakes his head. "He wasn't, I  _was_."

His mother's astonishment turns to confusion. "Ben?"

"You thought I didn't want to be a Jedi because I was too angry, because I didn't fit in," Ben says, "it was a convenient excuse, slightly true, but really it was because I heard his whispering in my head, his darkness curling up next to my soul. I felt him everyday, never knew his name, just knew  _him_. I thought it was just the Dark Side trying to seduce me, but knowing that he seduced Kivas, quietly and through the Force, I understand now. Those nightmares I had as child, it was the first part of his plan to turn me to the Dark Side."

"I wanted the ring to escape that evil darkness," Ben says quietly, looking down to avoid his parents' disappointment in his dishonesty, "and I'm not taking it off now that he has an apprentice."

Farnay watches him for solid minute before saying, "We still have Rey - "

"No," Ben says again, this time because this isn't any of their choices to make, "if Rey wants to have the life of a Force-user then she chooses it, but she has to know all that comes with it and she's going to be given the same choice as me. She's not going to be trapped again."

Trapped like she was on Jakku, trapped with no other choice but to follow the course that others have set for her life. He won't allow that.

He hears Rey's soft voice whisper, "Thank you, Ben."

Farnay glares at him. "Then tell her, tell her all that comes with being a Force-user, and let's let her decide, but if she decides she wants this life you will be training her."

Ben nods because that's all he can do. He knows that if she wants to live the life of a Jedi then he'll support her, but, Force, he hopes she doesn't. He hopes that the 'no attachments' part makes her choose him, instead of the Jedi way.

It's selfish, but he  _wants_  her to choose him.

He turns back to Rey, finding her watching him with curiosity and concern. He smiles to alleviate her concern before explaining, "If you decide to become a Jedi, you have to know the Code, and what it means."

Rey nods. "Tell me."

So Ben recites it, in a flat voice that he remembers using during his training, having hated the Code with the passion that it outlawed:

_"There is no emotion, there is peace._ _There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._ _There is no passion, there is serenity._ _There is no chaos, there is harmony._ _There is no death, there is the Force."_

"That's intense," Rey says after he stops.

"That's not all," Ben whispers, hating what he's about to say next, "the Jedi cannot have any attachments, that's probably why Luke kept Kivas a secret."

Rey's brow furrows, her hazel eyes darkening with confusion, and he longs to smooth out the skin between her eyes. "What do you mean by attachments?"

Ben clears his throat and shrugs. "Romantic entanglements," Those are really the only two words he can think of to describe it.

But Rey understands it all the same. A soft "Oh" breaks past her lips before she bites her lower lip and says, "What if I want an attachment?"

And her eyes are only on him, not the flirtatious and handsome and charismatic Poe, but Ben. Plain and awkward and shy Ben. And he's never been more happy to say, "Then I don't think you can be a Jedi."

Rey shrugs. "Too bad, that Code sounded like  _so_ much fun." The rest of the people in the room laugh at her little joke, but Ben's quiet as he watches her watching him. 

 _An attachment._ That's what she said. An. Attachment. Not plural. Just one, and she looked at him like he's seen girls look at Poe.

 "Can I still use the Force without being a Jedi?" Rey asks, curiosity eating away at her, he can see it in the way her eyes dart between him and Farnay, the only two in the room with answers.

Farnay shakes her head. "Luke always said that you can either be a Jedi or a Sith, there is no in-between for Force-user."

Rey looks to Ben and says, "But Ben uses the Force and there's both darkness and light, I've felt it, so how can there not be something in the middle, something . . . ," Rey pauses, searching for the right word and he knows what word she's going to say.

So he says it, "Grey."

Rey nods.

"Luke never told me anything of a balance between the two - "

"Luke is gone," Ben finds himself saying, "with him the the last of the original Jedi order."

Ben looks at Rey and finds her thinking along the same lines as him as she says, "So let's start something new."

\-----

"What's on Ilum?" Rey asks curiously as she leans over the back of his chair.

Ben doesn't look over his shoulder as he continues the start up of the ship. "The Crystal Cave," is his simple answer.

"What's so important about that?"

"If we're going to start a new order," Ben explains, taking a tiny peek of her as she throws herself down in the First Mate's seat, "then you're going to need your own lightsaber."

Rey frowns, looking down at the control panel in front of her for a moment before turning to look at him. "Do you know how to make one?"

Ben nods. "I know the basics, I think the Force will help us with the rest."

"You think?"

"I hope."

"Hmm." Rey turns back to the control panels and starts flipping all the right switches before asking another question, "How come you didn't tell your parents when you thought the Dark Side was trying to seduce you?"

Ben looks over at her to find her eyes staring back at him, waiting for an answer. He sighs and explains, "Darth Vader was my grandfather, but my mom and my uncle were never seduced to the Dark Side. If they thought that me, someone who was so angry like Vader, was hearing whisperings of darkness, they would think my battle had already been lost, at least my uncle would."

Rey's eyes lower, tinted with sadness, before she questions, "Why do you think he went for you before Kivas?"

Ben shrugs. "I was the heir apparent of Vader, full of anger and betrayal at my parents for leaving me with Luke. Plus, Kivas is the son of the great Luke Skywalker, the Jedi that did not bend to evil, while I'm the son of a smuggler and politician. Which one of us would you think has the greatest capacity for evil?"

Rey bites her lip and before he knows it she's leaning over and placing a light kiss on his cheek. It only lasts a second, but that second turns Ben's world around. "Not you, Ben. You're as good as they come."

Ben can only hope she's right.

\-----

"That's Ilum?" Rey asks with distaste evident in her voice.

Of course the desert scavenger wouldn't care much for ice and snow.

"Trust me," Ben starts, "it's colder than it looks."

"I'm so excited," Rey mutters, prompting Ben to laugh loudly.

They land near the ruins of the Jedi temple that stands above the Crystal Caves. Rey marvels at the way the sun shines down on the ice, sending sprinkles of glittering light everywhere, and Ben watches her marvel, adoring the way her eyes light up and sparkle just like the ice.

"C'mon, we should get some warmer clothes on," Ben says, gesturing for her to follow him.

He opens a closet in one of the halls and pulls out thick, fur-lined coats. He hands her one and pulls the other onto himself. When he turns back to her, he finds her drowning in the fabric of the coat. He thought that one would be the one closest to fitting her; it was his when he was a teenager, when he was still lanky and his muscles weren't fully developed.

He tries to hold back his laughter as he sees her trying to pull the coat tighter around herself, and fails. She stops and glares at him. "It's not my fault that you have a family of giants, your mother is the only normal-sized person in your family."

"My mother is super short," Ben says, his mother's head barely reaches his chest if she's on her tiptoes and he's bending over.

Rey huffs. "Well, at least she's not a giant."

Ben rolls his eyes, though he admits that him and his father are freakishly tall, and walks to the ramp, lowering it with the press of a button.

Rey shivers as a burst of arctic air streams into the  _Shadow_ , hitting them fiercely. Ben smiles slightly as Rey steps forward, huddling closer to the warmth of his back. Maybe Ilum was a good idea after all.

"Let's go," Ben says, stepping onto the ramp, "the temple is bound to be warmer than the planet itself."

He can't see her but he knows she nods. "Where is the temple?"

Ben inclines his head to what he hopes is the temple and not just a big lump of ice. "That should be it."

Rey peeks her head out from around his back and stares at the lump of ice in question. She raises a delicate eyebrow. "That just looks like ice."

"I know, but these are the coordinates that Farnay gave me, and she said it was built to resemble the cliff."

"Why?" Rey questions as they start their walk down the ramp.

Ben shrugs. "Multiple reasons, they built it there because the entrance to the caves is at the base of the cliff. I'm guessing they built it to blend into it's surroundings so if anything like Order 66 were to happen, it would be harder for them to be found, giving them time to escape."

"What's Order 66?" Rey asks, confusion coloring her tone.

"It's the order Emperor Palpatine gave the stormtroopers to kill off the Jedi," Ben explains, hating the words. He knows his grandfather was a part of the massacre of Order 66. He knows his grandfather murdered children.

And for what?

All Darth Vader ever got was a mask a whole bunch of scars to hide.

Nothing good ever came from Palpatine.

Nothing.

"That's how the Jedi were destroyed?" Rey questions as they reach what looks to be an entrance to the temple.

Ben nods. "Their comrades turned on them," Ben explains, "it wasn't the clones' faults though. When they were cloned, the cloners added something in their DNA that made them extremely loyal to their master. Palpatine was their master. Even if they wanted to save their Jedi friends, they couldn't."

Rey nods sadly. She changes the subject by asking, "How do we get this open?"

Ben reaches into his coat and pulls out his lightsaber, igniting it so that the blue light streams across the ice.

"The way a Jedi would," Ben answers, slicing an opening in the ice with his blade.

Rey watches with an impressed expression, her eyes following his every move. "Did you make your own blade?"

Ben shakes his head. "It was my grandfather's before he became Vader, somehow an old friend of my dad's came across it and gave it to me." Ben thinks of the way Maz had handed him the lightsaber, warning him that one day it would save him a lot of pain.

He'd always taken it for granted. Now, as he looks at Rey, he realizes that he'll have to fight. He'll have to fight troopers -  because what proper Sith order doesn't have troopers - and he'll have to fight his cousin. And he'll fight to save her from having to.

Rey walks into the ruined temple and takes a few steps before looking back at him and inclining her head. "You coming?"

It takes him a moment to nod and say, "Yeah, I'm coming."

\-----

"I thought you said it would be warmer inside than outside," Rey accuses, shooting a glare in her direction as she shivers against the cold.

Ben puts an arm around her shoulder and pulls her closer to him, trying to pass on some of his warmth. He forgot that while he's done a lot of jobs on icy planets, Rey was raised in the desert. She's never been this cold in her life, not even close.

"I assumed, sweetheart," Ben says apologetically.

Rey shuffles closer while muttering, "Don't call me that," though Ben can see the flower-like blush that graces her cheeks.

Maybe he should start calling her flower.

\-----

"I think that's the entrance to the Crystal Cave," Ben says, pointing to large pile of ice.

"Ben," Rey starts in a 'are you going insane' voice, "that's a pile of ice."

Ben looks at her with a straight face before saying, "I know that, but I also know that the Empire smashed the waterfall entrance to the cave."

"Oh."

They're in a cavern in the back of the temple, and if they go any farther they should be going into the cave. Hopefully. If Ben studied the maps right, then that rubble should be blocking the entrance to the cave. Rey's not sure he did.

"Move it," Ben says to Rey.

Rey looks at him like he's lost his mind. "What am I supposed to move it with? My bare hands, that'll take all day."

Ben raises a brow and calmly says, "No, use the Force."

"You know I have no idea how to do that!" Rey practically yells at him, regretting it when she feels the vibrations throughout the cavern and sees some of the ice spikes hanging above their heads wiggle.

Ben takes off his ring, tucks it safely in his pocket, and extends his hand out in front of him. A block of ice floats off the top of the pile and comes to stop in front of him.

"First lesson of being a Force-user," Ben begins, turning back to Rey, "don't think about the weight of the object, or even how big it looks, you just feel the Force surrounding it and lift."

Rey tries to do what he suggested, she even copies his moves, extending her hand like he did, but none of the icey rocks budge. After a moment of trying, she stops. Sweat beading on her forehead from the concentration, she looks at Ben and says, "I can't do this! I don't know how!"

"You know how," Ben disagrees, "you just need to focus on that part inside of you, that tiny part that's awakening and growing larger with each day. Feel it, connect with it, throw yourself into it, and it will tell you all you need."

Rey huffs and closes her eyes, trying again, focusing on what Ben said. She tries to focus on the Force surrounding them, feeling it's neutrality. She feels something else too. She feels Ben. She feels the light that shines so brightly from him, and the dark that's curled so deeply inside him. It's not the evil darkness she felt from that urn - thank the Force they destroyed that - but the sweet, tender darkness that brushed against her skin in that temple.

But then she feels something else, something inside her. It's glowing, not nearly as brightly as Ben's, but it's still growing, still developing. It's awakening. And when it's fully awake, it's going to shine as strongly as Ben's Force, maybe even more brightly. There's no darkness to hers, not yet, but she knows she won't escape a war without her own darkness curling up in there.

And then she feels it, the Force surrounding the rubble, telling her how to manipulate it, move it. She listens.

And when she opens her eyes Ben is staring at her with one of his bright, admiring smiles that makes her feel radiant and she looks at the rubble to find it gone, spread around the room and away from the entrance.

"I did it," She whispers to herself, then she looks at Ben and says louder, "I did it, Ben!"

Ben nods. "I knew you could."

"C'mon, let's get you a crystal," Ben gestures to the entrance and lets her walk through first, ever the gentleman.

They walk into a room with millions of shimmering crystals sticking out from the walls and the ceiling. There seems to be no light source, yet the room is lit up with a light that comes out of the glistening Kyber Crystals. Rey can't hold back the gasp that leaves her lips.

"It's beautiful," She whispers.

Ben stays quiet.

\-----

She's never been more beautiful, staring up at those crystals with their glimmering light shining on her face, creating waves of sparkles on her skin. Her pink lips parted in awe. Her hazel eyes are lit up like the crystals and they dart around the small cave.

She whispers, "It's beautiful."

And Ben thinks that she's more beautiful.

She walks forward, digging her heels in to keep from slipping on the ice, and drags a hand across a few crystals. "How do I know which one to pick?"

"You'll just know," Ben answers, following closely behind her in case she slips.

Her hand skims against some crystals until she stops, staring down at one that seems to pulse even brighter when she touches it. She slides a single finger down it and mutters, "This one."

"You're sure?" Ben asks.

She nods.

It's a small crystal, still young, barely formed, and he thinks that's perfect for her, considering that her powers are still young and still forming.

He helps her dig it out, not precisely sure if they're mining it correctly, but he wasn't exactly given instructions.

Once it's out, she clutches it in both hands, as if the little thing is the most precious thing in the world to her. "It's warm," She mumbles in awe.

Ben smiles, watching as she looks down at the little, thumbnail sized crystal in her hands. She looks up at him with eyes full of joy and takes a step forward; a step that she forgot to dig her heels into, a step that causes her to slip on the ice.

Ben catches her easily, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her back up before she can even hit the hard ice. She gasps and her hands come up to clutch his upper arms, crystal still in one hand.

"Thank you," She whispers, probably realizing how hard that ice would have been on her back.

Ben wants to shrug, to play it off as nothing, but he can't seem to move his shoulders because her hands are now sliding up his arms and shoulders to rest on his neck and he doesn't want to disturb them or scare them away. No, he wants them to continue a little higher. He wants those delicate hands to twine themselves in his hair.

What should he say? He doesn't know what to say though. He's forgotten how words work as he looks at the way her pearly white teeth dig into her bottom lip, how her hazel eyes seem to be looking at something lower on his face than his eyes or his nose, how her hair has come loose from the three buns she normally wears it in and is now hanging like a dark curtain around her face, drawing attention to her cheeks and the freckles that are scrawled across her skin.

He leans forward, sure that this is what he should do, and nearly sighs when she leans forward too. Her eyes flutter closed and he takes that as acceptance, leaning down so he can reach her - 

"So this is the Crystal Cave," A booming, cheerful voice echos through the cave.

Ben groans, pulling away from the one thing he wants to get closer to. He looks towards the voice to find Poe smirking at him and Ben shoots him a glare that hopefully says, 'The next time we're alone, I'm going to kill you.'

"What are you doing here?" Ben asks through gritted teeth, appreciating the way Rey grabs his hand and twines her fingers with his, calming him only slightly.

Poe rolls his eyes. "It wasn't my idea," He points behind him to where Farnay steps into view, "she thought we should keep an eye on you guys."

"Seems I was right," Farnay says, and Ben just knows she saw the near-kiss and doesn't approve, "this is a _sacred_ temple, Ben."

Ben can't stop himself from rolling his eyes. "At least I haven't broken a sacred vow, unlike my uncle who made a vow against attachments. Isn't there something about chastity in the Jedi vows?"

Farnay face turns red before she sputters out, "You're uncle was not yet a Jedi when we became attached."

Ben nods. "Well, I never made a vow and the order that made this place sacred is long dead and has been for years," Ben turns back to Rey, "so I'll do what I damn well please, sacred temple or not."

And then he grabs her face and kisses her, not caring who's watching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah . . . update because I don't have to work tonight so I have some free time and I don't know what else to do. Might watch a movie later. Though I do work tomorrow so if there is an update it will be in the morning. Hope you guys like it. About the entrance to the Crystal Cave, I figured that Luke was probably like nah, I don't want to go back to a freezing cold planet so instead of going to Ilum he went to another place like Christophsis to get the Kyber crystals for himself and his students and that's why the cave was not yet re-excavated. Anyways, thanks for reading. Y'all are awesome. Love the comments!


	11. Chapter 11

The kiss is mind-blowing. She feels as though she could fly. She feels as though could . . . She doesn't even know. Feeling Ben's lips against hers, it's like ecstasy. It's like sweets; she'd never had any growing up, but now that she had some she was always craving them. That's what it's like. Just this one kiss and she's already addicted.

But it ends too soon, and Rey isn't even sure she's done it right. How would she knows if she's done it right? She's never kissed anyone before, never cared to, so now she has no idea if she did it right or - 

Ben's looking down at her, staring at her with those dark, dark eyes. His eyes seem to be trying to tell her something, something his mouth can't say, as they stare down at her with this intense look of passion and something else, something that makes her face heat up and her heartbeat quicken.

Force, nobodies ever looked at her like that before.

Someone - Poe, she thinks - clears their throat. 

Farnay yells, "Can we get this show on the road now that you're done?"

Rey doesn't trust herself to speak, scared that her voice will either come out high-pitched or not at all, so she nods instead, clutching her new found crystal in one hand and Ben's hand in the other.

\-----

"Why is yours colored while mine isn't?" Rey asks Ben as they work on putting saberstaff together for her. Well, she works on it while he tells her what he hopes is the right way to do it.

"The crystal will change in color once a connection between yourself and the crystal is made," Ben explains, hoping he is correct. After all, his lightsaber was given to him. He didn't have to build it from scratch.

Rey nods. "What color do you think it will be?"

Ben shrugs. "Green or blue are the average colors for lightsiders."

She's silent for a moment. When she speaks, it's in a whisper, "About what happened, in the cave - " She cuts herself off as if she can't bring herself to say what she's wanting to say.

Ben knows what she's referring to though. The kiss. He shouldn't have kissed her, not without knowing if she was ready or if she even wanted to. He can't bring himself to regret it though, it was probably one of the best moment of his life, feeling her lips move against his. It was a little sloppy, a little too rough, but he assumes it was a first for her.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, not without you wanting me to, I just - "

She cuts him off, "I liked it, Ben, and I wanted it."

"Oh," He says stupidly. What else can he say? "Then what - "

"I - Did you - " She stops herself again, her cheeks flowering a bright pink. She takes a deep breath before asking, "Did you like it?"

The question comes out so fast that he barely catches it, and it takes him a moment to understand, but he answers immediately, "It was the best kiss I've ever had."

"Oh."

"In fact," Ben says, leaning towards her, "I wouldn't mind another."

Rey's cheeks become an even brighter pink as she says, "I'm happy to oblige." She leans forward and her lips meet his.

This time, with no one to stop them, the kiss can last as long as they want, and Ben wants it to last forever. He brings his hands up to cup her cheeks, pulling her as closer to him, as close as he can. She responds by bring her hands up the back of his neck, twining his long hair in her fingers.

And it feels like perfection.

Ben wouldn't trade the feeling of kissing her for anything in the world.

And then Poe walks in. "Ah, c'mon! You kiss once and now you're making out every time I walk in."

"Maybe you should knock," Ben comments dryly as he pulls away from Rey, still cupping her cheeks in his hands.

"There's literally no door," Poe says, gesturing to the hall that leads into the room they're standing in, specifically the doorless part of the hall, "What am I supposed to knock on? The air?"

Ben rolls his eyes.

"Aren't you two supposed to be building a lightsaber?"

"Aren't you supposed to be flying with Farnay?" Ben counters.

Poe shakes his head and waves away the question. "The woman's creepy, she's also really sad and she cried like three times on the way to Ilium. I'm not good with tears so I decided you guys were better. I regret that decision now, mainly because your cat is fuckin' mean. He bit me, nearly took off my pinkie finger."

His pinkie finger looks perfectly fine.

Poe walks away, back to piloting the ship, and Ben turns back to Rey. She's already focused on the lightsaber parts in front of her, though the hints of pink on her cheeks shows him that she's not as focused on them as she seems.

"We should get back to work," Ben suggests, already bringing out the Jedi holocron he found for saber-making. He thinks they've gotten far enough to watch it.

\-----

"You two should train," Farnay suggests right after they walk into Leia's apartment.

"I would love to," Ben says, " _after_  I've actually greeted my parents and spent some time readjusting to not being on a ship."

Farnay huffs and heads to the guest room she's staying in.

"She's getting very annoying," Ben mutters.

Rey smiles at him and pats his shoulder. "She's only trying to help."

"Well, she's more annoying than anything," Ben says, "but she is right, we should train. We'll go up to the roof after dinner. We shouldn't break anything up there." Remembering the last time he tried to train in the apartment, he broke one of his mother's favorite lamps.

"Benjamin Solo," His mother begins, only hearing the breaking part of his sentence, "if you break another lamp in this house, I will make you regret it."

"We're training on the roof, Mom," Ben says, placating his mother with that simple sentence.

"Oh," His mother looks at one of the lamps his father gave her, a rather ugly one, and nods, "good."

Ben pauses, watching the look that spreads across his mother's face and disappears quickly. Disappointment. "Mom . . . do you want me to break that lamp?"

His mother sighs and walks over to him and Rey, whispering, "Your father gave me that for my birthday, you remember, but it is the ugliest thing in the world. I don't want to give it back or replace it and hurt his feelings but I can't stand looking at it anymore, Ben." She was almost pleading with him.

"Will you make cake for dessert if I break the lamp?" Ben asks hopefully. Rey hasn't had cake before, only a few cheap cookies that he bought her from a store a few blocks away.

"You break that lamp," His mother starts, looking at it again and shaking her head, "and I'll make you any cake you want."

"Deal."

Ben takes off his ring and the lamp starts to lean a little to the left, falling off the side of the table and shattering on the floor. His mother fakes devastation as his father comes in and tries to comfort her during her time of grief, though Ben thinks he sees a little bit of relief on his father's face.

Neither of them really liked the lamp.

\-----

"That was amazing," Rey whispers as they walk out onto the roof. She still has chocolate crumbs and strawberry icing on her face from how sloppily she ate her piece of cake. Well,  _pieces_  of cake. She had multiple pieces of cake.  So much cake.

"So you like cake?" Ben asks.

"Yes!" Rey yells excitedly.

Ben chuckles as he ignites his saber, the blue blade glowing in the darkness of Coruscant's night. Rey ignites hers, frowning at the still-white beams of light that emerge from either end.

"I don't know much about combat," Rey says worriedly, "I only really know how to defend myself."

"If you do that well, that's all your really need to know," Ben promises.

Then he charges. His blade comes down hard towards hers - not hard enough that he can't pull back quickly - and she immediately blocks his strike, pushing him off her.

She backs up a few steps, her eyes moving around and calculating everything, as he steps forward. She spins her staff, the twin ends twirling so fast that all he sees is a circle of light, as she settles into a better position. Her abdomen twisted a little as one of her feet is in front of her and the other is behind her.

He brings down his blade repeatedly, mainly just testing her reflexes and not her defensive skills, and she blocks each hit quickly and effectively, using both sides of the staff like extensions of her arms.

He knows why she wanted the saberstaff. Her choice of weapon Jakku was a staff, she knows how to handle it - not as proficiently as she would if she were trained, but still good enough to defend herself easily - and she knows how to handle herself with it. After so many years of using a staff, it feels like a part of her now.

When she goes on the offensive, attacking him instead of just blocking his slashes, he's shocked. She makes him back up a few steps before he starts fighting back, stopping her mid-slash and shoving her back by pushing his blade against hers as hard as he can.

They're locked. His blade screaming against hers, blue and white mixing perfectly, and he watches as she stares at the blades, trying to figure out how to get out of this. She closes her eyes, still shoving against him, and then her eyes snap open and she extinguishes her blade, causing him to stumble forward as his blade loses all of the resistance against it.

She uses his unbalance against him, hooking her leg around his and pulling, knocking him onto his back. He feels something change in the Force (he'd left his ring off since earlier, wanting to see if Snoke would try to sneak inside his head now that he has his apprentice) something has awakened, something powerful, something light.

Rey. Her powers are awake and glowing as bright as a thousand stars.

He looks up at her with wide eyes. Did she just best him? Her first time? He knows he's out of practice, not having practiced with sabers for years, but is he really so out of practice that he can't beat a complete novice. Maybe she tapped into the Force and it gave her some insight, insight that was good enough to beat his unpracticed form.

He notices the wide smile on her face, showing her bright white teeth, and he finds not caring that she bested him. She's happy and smiling like that and he doesn't have a care in the world. He also notices that her eyes are on her blades and not him.

He follows her gaze to find that the glow that was a pure white is now a golden yellow, a rarer saber color than his own blue, and he smiles proudly. He gets to his feet and claps a hand on her shoulder, congratulating her, "You did it, Rey."

"I did it!" She squeals, looking between him and the blade with that wide smile. She extinguishes the blade and lets it crash to the ground and she pulls him into a hug, standing on her tiptoes just to wrap her arms around his neck. "All because of you."

"You could've done it by yourself," Ben admits modestly, not wanting to take any of the credit for something that she did by herself.

"No," She pulls back, shaking her head sadly, "I would still be stuck on Jakku, starving on tasteless portions, if it weren't for you, Ben. You've given me food, a job, friends, a life - " She stops herself, looking up at him with wide eyes that stop his heart.

She whispers, "You've given me everything, Ben, and I can never repay you - "

He cuts her off with a quick kiss, mumbling against her lips, "You never have to."

She doesn't waste any time kissing him back.

\-----

_Dark tendrils reach for her, trying to capture her, trying to hold her. She doesn't know what to do as she runs from them, trying to run towards the light that she sees up ahead. She gets no closer to the light no matter how fast or how far she runs, it's still the same distance away, but the darkness is closer, thicker, and it's grabbing a hold of her ankles, her wrists, pulling her back, pulling her down._

_"Darkness rises, and light to meet it," A sinister voice whispers in her ear, though she can't see the source._

_She can't see anything but the darkness._

_The sinister voice speaks again, repeating a mantra - or a dark code - with a fervor that scares her, "Peace is a lie. There is only Passion._ _Through Passion I gain Strength._ _Through Strength I gain Power._ _Through Power I gain Victory._ _Through Victory my chains are Broken."_

_Then comes a younger voice, younger but still harsh, "The Force shall free me."_

_The chains of darkness around her limbs tighten, the vines crawling higher up her arms and legs._

_"Do you feel it?" Asks the sinister voice, rippling echoes, "There's been an awakening in the Force."_

_"I feel it, Master."_

_"You know what you must do," The sinister voice states._

_"I do."_

_"Then go."_

_And suddenly, she's falling._

Rey wakes up with sweat beading on her brow as she breathes heavily. She places a hand on her heart, hoping to calm its rapid beating, when she hears something. Something in distance, but close enough to leave her worried. Then she's pulled into that distance, thrown into it by something other than herself.

_The humming of a saber, red light bathing across someone's face. The man wielding it wears a mask, though his Devaronian horns stick out through perfectly cuts holes in the top. A woman is on the floor below him, shielding her eyes from the harsh red light with an arm slung across her face._

_"You cannot protect them," The man's voice comes out strange, mechanical, "you couldn't even protect your own son."_

_"You're right," The woman's voice is familiar, lilting in a unique accent that Rey barely manages to place. Her arm falls from her face, "I couldn't protect him, but I can help save him."_

_"There is no saving him," The man says to Farnay, to his mother, "there is nobody to save. Your son is dead."_

_"I don't believe that," Farnay admits with a fierce passion, "I can't."_

_Something crashes in the distance, a booming noise that causes Farnay to look back in a panic. "Please stop this Kivas, if there is anything left of my son in you!"_

_"There isn't," The voice says flatly._

_"They are your family!" Farnay yells, "Are you just going to let them die?"_

_Kivas, or the man that was Kivas, hisses, "Yes."_

_Farnay turns and watches in horror as a building, Leia's apartment building, is bombed, exploding so harshly that there is no chance for survivors._

_After a few minutes, Farnay turns back to her son, watching him with a hollow gaze, "How could you?"_

_Then a fiery red blade is sheathed in Farnay's stomach, but she doesn't scream. She doesn't cry. She simply gasps and reaches up to stroke her sons face before she falls to the ground, no more life left in her body._

Rey's eyes shoot open again with a gasp and she looks around, not sure what happened, until she hears something again, this time she recognizes it. The sound of Tie-Fighters, flying through the skies, preparing to drop bombs on the city and this apartment building.

She shakes Ben awake, not wasting any time as she grabs her belt with her saber and the bad that contains her few personal items.

"We have to go," Rey warns Ben as he looks at her with bleary, sleep-filled eyes. She ties her belt and looks at him with urgent eyes, "Now, Ben!"

That gets him up he starts grabbing things as she runs out into the hall and knocks on everyone's doors, yelling for them to wake up and get ready.

They need to get the hell out of here.

She opens Farnay's door to find her staring out the window, watching as the Tie-Fighters fly across the city skyline. She doesn't turn to Rey as she says, "It's my son, isn't it? He's here for me, for you, for all of us."

Rey almost nods before she realizes that Farnay can't see her. "Yes."

"I can feel him," Farnay says, "he's just touched down a few blocks away."

A few blocks away. Yes, that's about how far he was away from the apartment in her vision, but Farnay was also there. And she died.

"You all need to leave, now," Farnay warns, still not turning from the window.

"You're not coming with us?" Rey asks, though she knows the answers.

"I need to face him."

"You'll die," Rey warns her, hoping she'll listen, scared of what happens if she listens. Can Rey change the future that's been set for them?

Farnay doesn't ask Rey how she knows this. She still doesn't turn from the window. "Then I'll die trying to save my son, no mother can ask for a greater death."

Rey can't argue that, she knows nothing about what mother's would do for their children.

Farnay finally turns to Rey and the look in her eyes stops Rey from asking any more questions, from pleading anymore. Farnay has found peace, she's ready if the Force wills it. And Rey won't argue with that.

Farnay clutches something in her hand as she steps forward. She holds the hand out towards Rey and opens it, revealing the two halves of a cracked Kyber crystal lying flat on her palm. "If I manage to turn him back, I'll find you and giving these to you will be for nothing, but if I don't, if I fail, give these to my son when you redeem him."

"And if I can't?" Rey asks the question that she knows Farnay doesn't want to hear.

Farnay doesn't even flinch as she calmly says, "Then give them to Luke when you see him next, he'll know what to do with them."

Rey nods and takes the crystals. She turns to leave the room, but looks back over her shoulder at Farnay for a second as she says, "Good luck."

She barely hears Farnay's whispered, "May the Force be with you."

Rey whispers it back into the Force, hoping against hope that her vision was wrong and she'll be able to give these broken halves back to Farnay herself.

\-----

They feel it.

When Farnay joins the Force, Leia, Ben, and Rey look up at each other, clutching their chests as they feel a disturbance in the Force, not just from Farnay's death but from the thousands of others who died in the bombing.

Even putting out an alarm, didn't save them.

Rey admits to the crew that she had a vision and that's how she warned them, though she withholds telling them about her dream. Something tells her not to, something whispers for her not to.

She thinks she wants to tell Ben first, but he's always looks at her with such admiration, adoring that she chooses never chooses the Dark Side. How will he look at her when she tells him about her dream of the Dark Side pulling her under?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a terrible person. I promise, stuff gets better. Sort of. Hope you guys liked the happy parts, I'd be concerned if you liked the sad parts. I love all the comments. If I don't reply to one it's because I don't know what to say other than thank you and I don't want to be generic so I kind of just want to thank you all in the notes. So thanks! Love you guys! Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

Rey has felt darkness before. She felt it in Unkar Plutt, the dealer that always seemed to do better when others suffered. His was a cruel, greedy kind of darkness. She felt darkness in Ben Solo, too. His wasn't cruel or greedy, Ben's darkness was warm and protective, it made her feel safe and loved.

And then there was the darkness that infected her dream.

That darkness was evil, no other words to describe it. It clutched at her, pulling and pulling and pulling, trying to pull her to it. Seduce. That's the word they use, right? Seduced to the Dark Side. That's what Vader was, seduced to the Dark Side by someone he thought was a friend. Is that what's happening to Rey? Is someone trying to seduce her to the Dark Side?

Or is she just imagining it? Is she only having these dreams because it's all she can think about? Dreams . . . She's had three like the one before, all since Farnay died.  _Killed, Farnay was killed,_ Rey reminds herself.

What concerns Rey the most is that she hasn't told Ben. Ben. Sweet, kind Ben. He wonders what's wrong with her, asks if it's because of Farnay, but she can't seem to make herself tell him about the dreams. Is it shame that holds her back? Or is it a compulsion, a seduction of the Dark Side?

Rey doesn't know. She doesn't know anything.

And she's terrified.

\-----

Something isn't right.

Ben watches Rey, watches as her brow furrows and she bites her lower lip, trying to focus on something when she's not doing anything but staring out into space. Something isn't right.

She isn't sleeping at night, when she does it's fitful, disturbed. He feels her tossing and turning; it keeps him awake but he doesn't say anything. She hasn't talked to him about it, about anything.

She's the last person who spoke to Farnay. He thought she might be shocked about their friend's death, but when he suggested it she only stared at him numbly and shook her head.

He's scared something's happening to her. He's scared she's experiencing what he experienced. Dreams, nightmares, whatever you want to call them, of darkness and pain. Voices. Oh, the voices.

He doesn't want to think about the brightest source of light in the galaxy having those dreams. Not her. Never her.

He needs to talk to her, ask her, but when she looks up at him, and her eyes meet his, he finds himself unable to look into her eyes, unwilling to stare into the darkness that's pouring out of those hazel orbs.

\-----

"Master," Zar Ren begins, kneeling before the hologram of Supreme Leader Snoke, "I was successful in killing the woman known as Farnay."

"And with her, you have killed the boy known as Kivas," The Supreme Leader insinuates.

Zar swallows unsteadily, remembering the feeling of driving his blade through his mother's - no, through Kivas's mother's - body. He remembers the feeling of her lifeless body falling into his arms, he couldn't let her fall to the ground. He remembers how killing her didn't destroy that thing nudging against his mind, trying to pull him back to a place he doesn't want to be anymore.

But he can't say any of that to Supreme Leader Snoke, because he also remembers the pain. Force, the pain. The pain of Snoke shoving into his mind, pulling and twisting and shoving and pushing, and oh gods . . . it _hurt_.

He remembers it was his punishment.

For not killing Skywalker. For not killing his - no, Kivas's - father.

He thought he did.

He couldn't.

Those eyes.

His eyes.

"Yes, Master," He says gruffly, thankful for the voice modulator that conceals the rasp that's stolen it's way into his throat, "the weakling known as Kivas is dead, buried alongside his mother. As Zar Ren, I am ready to take my place as the Master of the Knights of Ren."

The Knights of Ren would be his, he would train them, he would care for them, and he would protect them. Protect them from the full extent of the darkness. Protect them from the Supreme Leader. Protect them from  _himself_.

Because one of them is something.

One of them is everything.

Golden yellow skin against his, bright blue eyes staring up at him, her blue and white striped lekku shivering under his fingers. Enya. His. Yes, he'll protect her from everything.

He will do whatever it takes to keep her safe from the vision he had. The vision of her blood on his hands as he holds her against his chest, cradling her damaged lekku in his hands, as she whispers her dying words against his frantic heartbeat . . .

Gods, he will not lose her.

He'll do whatever it takes.

"But you did not succeed in destroying the Skywalkers?" His master asks, though he knows the answer already.

"Someone warned them, someone had to have warned them," Zar says, hoping that he's right, that he somehow didn't accidentally miscalculate. Blood on his hands -

"Someone did," His master concedes, explaining, "A girl, a scavenger, I've seen her in the Force, felt her. She is strong, untrained but strong. She could bring an end to us."

"Nothing will stop us from achieving our goal," Zar says with a conviction he doesn't feel.

His master nods. "She must be turned," His master suggests, "I've seen the struggle against darkness within her, she could lose that battle with a little encouragement."

"And if that encouragement doesn't work?" Zar doesn't even want to think about how his master wants him to convince this innocent woman to turn.

"Then she will die by  _your_  blade."

Whatever it takes.

"Yes, Master," Zar says, though he feels cold hands creeping up on him, gripping his heart.

\-----

_The darkness is here again, surrounding her, holding her, choking her._

_Rey's fear is overshadowed by her curiosity, curiosity about the conversation she's overhearing._

_"What if she doesn't fall?" Asks a small, female voice._

_"She will die," Remarks a male voice she recognizes, it's Kivas. She recognizes his voice even without the mechanical voice modulator she's become used to hearing it through._

_"You'll kill her," The female voice whispers. She sounds almost sad, dejected._

_The darkness is curling around her now, caressing her, pulling her into its embrace, and even as Rey struggles, she can't pull herself out of it._

_"Yes." It's a simple, yet strangled answer._

_"I'm sick of all the death," The female says, "I'm sick of all this - this darkness. Darling, please, let's just go home - "_

_"We don't have a home anymore, Enya."_

_The darkness tears Rey apart, ripping, shredding, still pushing and pulling. Rey doesn't struggle anymore, there's no getting away from the darkness._

_"And who's fault is that?"_

Rey wakes up shivering, not from the cold but from an entirely different unpleasant feeling. She can't remember the last time she didn't wake up like this, scared and anxious, waiting for the dark to pull her back.

She feels long fingers gliding through her hair, messaging along her scalp. A large hand lays itself on her back, rubbing comforting circles, as she tries to even her breathing, slow her rapidly beating heart.

There's silence all around them, only the hum of machinery can be heard, until Ben's deep voice fills the air around them, even in a whisper, "Was is it a nightmare?"

Rey can barely nod so she whispers, "Yes."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Rey turns in the bunk, almost elbowing Ben in the nose as she does. The bunks are all small on the  _Shadow,_ so small that they barely hold Ben alone, let alone Ben and Rey together, but Rey knows she couldn't sleep at all without him beside her, not with these dreams.

"I don't know," She mutters, hating that she doesn't know how to share her nightmares with him.  She wants to, but she doesn't . . . know how to handle it if he reacts badly.

Ben nods, he's silent for a minute before he asks, "Did I ever tell you about the nightmares I had when I was little?"

She shakes her head, wondering where he's going with this.

"I didn't know why I had them, but they terrified me. I was scared to sleep, I used to beg my mother every night to let me stay up for a minute longer, a  _second_  longer," He tells her and Rey finds herself not believing him. He's never been afraid. He's Ben.

"What did she do?" Rey asks, unsure what else to say.

"She made me go to bed," Ben answers.

"But if she knew you were having nightmares - "

Ben interrupts her, "She didn't. I didn't tell her. I was so scared, so embarrassed. The nightmares were of the Dark Side, pulling me closer," Rey closes her eyes as she realizes he probably had the same dreams as her, the darkness pulling and embracing him, "but my uncle was a paragon of the light. I was scared my family would be ashamed of me for having dreams of the Dark Side.

"But after awhile, I realized that it wasn't my fault at all. The nightmares weren't something that I wanted, they were something that was forced onto me. When I finally told my parents about the nightmares, they reassured me. They made me feel safer than I had in years. And they weren't ashamed." Ben's hand stills in her hair and he leans down, putting his lips against her ear as he whispers, "If the same thing is happening to you, I promise you, Rey, I won't be ashamed. I won't look at you any differently, because it is _not_ your fault. It will never be your fault."

Rey doesn't know she's sobbing until Ben whispers, "It's okay, it's okay, don't cry, shh." His hand is once again moving in her hair, gently stroking the back of her head. He pushes her head forwards just a little so that she cries against his chest. "Don't worry, it's okay."

"I'm so scared, Ben," Rey mumbles through her sobs.

Ben presses a light kiss against the top of her head. "I know, flower, I know."

"What if I turn to the Dark Side?" Rey asks in a trembling voice, "What if I turn like Kivas? What if I hurt you like he hurt Farnay? What if - "

Ben's hands move away from her head and back and come up to cup her cheeks. He forces her to look at him, into his dark eyes. "That won't happen," He assures her, "you are so full of light. There's no way you will ever turn to the Dark Side. There's no way you'll become like Kivas. And there's no way you'll hurt me."

"What makes you so sure?" Rey asks. She doesn't trust herself, so why does he?

"Because I won't let you," He looks so sincere as he stares into her eyes, lightly brushing the pad of his thumb against her smooth cheek, wiping away an errant tear.

"Okay."

He doesn't say anything as he wraps his arms around her and pulls her closer so she's practically laying on top of him, the only true way for them to be comfortable in such a small bunk. Rey reaches out and places her hand over his heart, feeling the calming beat against her palm.

She's falls asleep again counting the beats like she used to count banthas.

\-----

"Tell me about him," Rey insists quietly as she sits in the co-pilot's chair, stroking Scrapper's soft fur.

"Who?" Ben asks as he steers them towards a refueling station.

"Kivas," Rey answer.

Ben sits up straight, his shoulders tense. "What do you want to know?"

"Why do you think he turned?" Rey asks, the question seems so pertinent now, now more than ever.

Ben shrugs, though the tightness doesn't leave his shoulders. "He was always like me, quiet and studious. He never liked the more rambunctious students, and they teased him ruthlessly for his quiet."

"That can't be why he turned though," Rey replies, troubled that anyone might think that a little teasing is anyway a reason for turning to the Dark Side and murdering your own mother.

"No," Ben says, "it can't be, but I don't think there was just one reason. His mother abandoned him at a school with a stranger to look out for him. He didn't know his father, and when he found out who his father was . . . he'd known the man for years and Luke never once told Kivas the truth. The teasing was enough to make anyone sad, but the other stuff that was enough for anyone to sink to rock bottom. With the darkness whispering and the rules confining him, I'm surprised he didn't crack easier."

"Rules confining him from what?" Rey asks, she doesn't see why the rules would be so hard on him.

"The rule against attachment was a hard one for him," Ben explains, shrugging lightly. "He was in love with this Togruta girl, she was the light of his life. When I left, he was content to just be her friend, as long as he could be around her, but that might have changed as he grew older. The rules might have chafed harder as he fell more and more in love with her."

Rey nods, seeing how someone would hate rules that forbid them from loving someone when they were already in love. She couldn't imagine rules that kept her away from Ben, not that she loved Ben.

"What was the girl's name?" Rey asks, feeling as if this is important.

Ben scratches the top of his head as he thinks. "Anya - No - Enya," His brow furrows for a second before he says, "Yeah, Enya."

Enya. Enya. That's what the voice in her dream called the female. Enya. 

_"We don't have a home anymore, Enya."_

That's what he said. Kivas. Kivas was talking to Enya, but was this in the past? Who were they talking about killing? Why? How is Rey seeing these conversations, if they're even real? Is the Force trying to tell her something?

"Are you sure?" Rey asks carefully, wanting, hoping to be wrong.

"Yeah," Ben says, "he must really be gone if he killed her with the other students. He loved her more than anything, would've done anything for her."

Rey nods. Yes, that must be it. He would've done anything for her, like go to the Dark Side for her. But why? She made it clear that she didn't like him killing, that she didn't like their life, so why would he do that for her? There's something Rey's missing, a wire that she needs for a machine to work. She needs to find it, and she needs to use it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, a little different POV in there. I'm having more ideas for this story as the day goes on, more angst might happen. I don't know, I'm winging it, and I'm so glad you guys like my story even if I'm winging it. Thanks for reading and for the comments, I could never be happier than I am with you guys and the reception I'm getting for this story.


	13. Chapter 13

She's surrounded by darkness, everywhere she turns it's all she sees, all she feels. She can't turn away from it. It's all she feels in the Force now, it surrounds even her, clouding her own Light signature.

It surrounds him too, mixing and turning his signature darker and darker as the days go by, as the blood on his hands gets thicker and the body count grows.

Enya looks out into the cold darkness that is space. She's always hated space, preferring the warmth of the sun and the chill of wind against her skin, loving green grass and tall trees. She can't seem to find anything to love about space.

She turns away from the glass as she hears an assistant clear his throat and tell Kivas - she refuses to call him Zar, no matter how much the Supreme Leader insists - that the Supreme Leader requests his presence in the throne room.

Kivas's shoulders tighten, tensing at the apprehension that sneaks its away across his mind, she walks forward, placing a golden hand on the black cloth that covers his back. She frowns at the sharp contrast between the brightness of her skin and the robes that cover him. She hates those robes with a passion; they're the robes of a Darksider.

"You're dismissed," Kivas instructs the trembling assistant.

The servant leaves quickly, not liking to be in Kivas's presence anymore than anyone else on this ship; they've only ever seen his darkness, none of his light. They all wonder why she stays with him, and she's started to wonder herself.

Kivas sighs, a long, tired sigh that reminds her why she stays. He needs her.

He turns and faces her, trying to smile and calm her anxiety at the thought of him going to see the Supreme Leader. She hates that man. Kivas always comes back hurt. His head pounding as his nose and ears leak blood.

She hates that.

"What do you think he wants?" She asks, though she knows. 

She always knows.

"Probably to send me away on another mission," Kivas says, playing it off with a shrug.

"Away from me," Enya says with a humorless snort.

They've been here for nearly a year now, and during that year nearly all their time has been spent apart. The Supreme Leader always has a mission for Kivas, always mission that he insists are "too dangerous" for Enya.

Kivas walks up to her and places a calming hand on her cheek, stroking his reddish brown thumb across her cheek. "You know it's too dangerous - " Kivas begins, spouting the Snoke's words back to her.

"It's not too dangerous for you," Enya interrupts, turning away from him, "I was the first in our class, better than even you, yet you can go on missions that are too dangerous for me."

He wraps his arms around her from behind and leans his head on her shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to the freckled skin he finds there. "It's too dangerous."

"I'm more capable than you think," Enya says, finding herself softening as his lips suckle on her neck.

"I'm doing this to keep you safe," Kivas murmurs against her skin, "you know that."

"Do I?" Enya spins, pointing an accusing finger and glare at him, "I know that we let Stormtroopers into the Academy. I know that we watched as our friends, my friends, were killed. I know that we've been floating through space for nearly a year and I still have no idea why we're here. I know that Snoke is burrowing his way into your head, making you do things that you would never have considering before."

He opens his mouth to object but she silences him as she says, "I know that the man I love is swiftly becoming someone I don't know, and I'm not sure I even want to know him."

She watches his sky blue eyes - Master Skywalker's sky blue eyes - harden. He shakes his head sadly, not liking what she's saying. "What do you want from me, Enya?"

Her arms move away from her, gesturing in a random way. "I want to be away from here!" She yells, her turquoise eyes pleading with him, "Kivas, I hate this place, this ship! It's dark and horrible and it's not us!"

"What is us, Enya?" He takes a step forward, anger marring his lips into a frown, "The Academy is gone. My family is gone. You family has been gone for a long time. Where do you suggest we go?"

"Anywhere," Enya says quietly, turning back to look at the stars, "Anywhere but this ship, this Order. I want to be somewhere with sunlight and flowers and grass. I want to feel the Light."

"That's not possible," Kivas says, his voice dropping in something close to regret.

"Why not?" Enya asks, her arms spreading wide again, "Why can't we just run, Ki? We could leave, just go. We could find some random planet, somewhere in the Outer Rim, and start a new life, a life without Jedi or Sith. Just us, you and me."

Kivas looks at her for a long time, hope glimmering in his eyes, mixing with want. She can see how much he wants to take her up on this offer, to just leave, and never let anything stop them from starting anew.

But then the hope dies and the want falls away.

With two simple words.

"We can't."

"Why not?" Enya asks again, her voice hardening.

"You know why," Kivas says, and she does. He won't leave Snoke, not after the dream and what Snoke promised him. A way to save her. A way to make her live through anything that might happen to her.

Kivas wants that power, so much, he needs it. All because of the dream that Kivas had of her dying in his arms, her blood coating his hands, and her whispering her dying words against the rapid beating of his heart as his tears fall onto her face.

And he could never let that happen. Enya knows that Kivas would tear the galaxy apart before he would let her die, let her leave him alone.

But with every second she spends here, she fears that that dream comes closer to fruition.

"I hate him," Enya whispers, knowing that Kivas understands who she's speaking of.

Rough hands grab her shoulders, spinning her around and shaking her. Wild eyes are on hers. "Do not ever say that again, Enya," Kivas warns roughly, fearfully, "if anyone but me hears you say that, they will hurt you. And if I'm gone, away on some mission, I can't keep them at bay."

Yes, with every second she sees his dream coming truer and truer.

She knows she should run. She should get as far away from him and this prophecy of her death as possible, but she can't leave him. He's been her family since her first day at the Academy, the day she lost her family, and she's been his. He couldn't live without her. She's his Light, without her he'd be gone.

Her Kivas would become Zar Ren.

She won't let that happen.

He might be turning, but he's not fully gone.

He won't ever be fully gone if she's around.

\-----

"Well," Rey says as she kicks off her boots and slides into the co-pilot's chair, "that was fun."

Ben chuckles deeply and asks, "Getting chased through the lower levels of Coruscant by members of the Guavian Death Gang while carrying boxes containing very delicate explosives is your idea of fun?"

Rey shrugs as she looks over at him to find him smirking. "It was pretty fun, especially when that one guy tripped and fell face-first into a pile of bantha dung."

Ben laughs and says, "Oh, that was priceless."

Rey giggles as she grabs her datapad off the control panel and looks over their schedule. "It looks like our next run is to Hapes. Apparently, your mother knows the prince and he's willing to convince his mother to support the Resistance if he has to representatives - "

"Canceled that," Ben says.

"What?" Rey raises a brow, "We can't just cancel a mission."

"I already canceled it," Ben states, "My mother agreed to it, she says that we need some time off."

Rey furrows her brow as she looks at him with exasperation. "Well, where are we going then?" She asks sarcastically.

"Naboo," Ben replies casually, though she can feel his excitement through the Force, through that invisible string that connects them together.

"Naboo?" Rey asks, a secret smile trying to pull the corners of her lips up.

"Naboo," Ben repeats, walking behind her and leaning over the back of her chair. He presses a sweet kiss to her cheek as he adds, "where everything is green and filled with life. Flowers bloom everywhere and the lakes sparkle under the sun."

Rey smiles as Ben nuzzles his face into her neck. Rey says, "Well, if we're going to such a nice place then I should shower so I don't smell like a dirty bloggin."

Ben's head shakes against her neck as he starts to laugh. He steps back and says, "You had to ruin the moment, didn't you?"

Rey stands and walks around her chair so she can wrap her arms around his neck, though she has to stand on her toes to do that comfortably. She presses a kiss to his lips and then releases him, walking past him to the door.

Ben calls after her, "Are you sure you can handle showering by yourself? Maybe I should join you."

Rey's cheeks heat with a flush as she yells back, "Why don't you make yourself useful and feed your cat?" as she walks into the 'fresher and shuts the door.

Though they've been together now for nearly a year, they still haven't gone farther than hugging and kissing. He's never broached the subject of sex, and she's always been too self-conscious to even think about bringing it up, but he still makes those little comments that make her think about it.

Rey shakes her head at the thoughts that float around in her brain as she turns the water on, turning the handle all the way to to the left. She steps into the hot water, moaning at the feeling of the near-boiling heat on her skin.

She squeezes the contents of one of the shampoo bottles into the palm of her hand and then massages it into her hair, enjoying the sweet smell of the floral shampoo that Ben bought for her.

Ben knocks on the door and yells, "Your cat bit me!"

"He's your cat," Rey reminds him, chuckling to herself.

"No," Ben yells, "that cat hasn't been mine since you first stepped onto this ship."

"Would you shut up and let me take my shower in peace?" Rey yells, though she really wants him to keep talking to her, keep joking with her.

"Fine, woman," Ben calls out, "I'll just be out here, getting bit by your little beast."

Rey rolls her eyes at his little melodrama. It's a common occurrence for him to be a little dramatic over a random thing, though it's never out of anger or anything - as much as he tries to act like it is - it's normally just to make her laugh.

She finishes her shower a few minutes later and wraps a soft robe around herself. Walking down the hall and into their shared room, Rey grabs one of his shirts and a pair of leggings with some comfy socks.

She quickly dresses and starts trying to brush her hair out as she walks back into the cockpit, sliding into the her seat.

Ben doesn't turn away from the controls as she sits. "How was the shower?"

"The water pressure feels better since the last upgrade," Rey informs.

He nods distractedly as he types a few things into the ship's navigational system. When his fingers stop flitting over the keypad and he turns the ship's self-piloting system on before turning to look at her.

Something dark glistens in his eyes as he sees his shirt on her. "I like that shirt on you," He mutters, his eyes lowering to the durasteel floor.

"You always say that," Rey replies dully, though her lips quirk into a smile and her cheeks flood with heat.

"It's always true."

Rey gets out of her and walks over to his, sitting on his lap. She leans over and kisses him, sighing as Ben's hands find her waist and squeeze. He kisses her back in earnest, pulling her closer to him.

 After a few moments, he pulls back and rests his forehead against hers, whispering, "I love you."

And she remembers the first time he said that, months and months ago, on one of their many adventures.

_"Are you kidding me?" Ben says as he looks at the bottom of his boot, his face contorting in disgust at the ripely smelling elephoth dung._

_"Ben," Rey whispers, getting his attention. He looks at her and she points to the creature that's standing a few feet away from them._

_"Are you kidding me?" Ben whispers quieter, though no less annoyed, as he sees the creature._

_An elephoth walks out of her den, her red eyes glowing brightly against her green skin. She leans over and scrapes her sharp tusks against the swampy ground of Dagobah._

_"Let's try and be quiet," Rey whispers to him, "We passed a lake a few minutes ago, let's go back there and you can wash off your shoe while we wait for her to leave."_

_Ben nods and they back away from the elephoth's den._

_They make it to the lake in a few minutes and Ben immediately runs to it, taking off his shoe and grabbing a stick to help him scrub the filth off his shoe._

_Rey can't contain her giggles at the disgusted face he makes when he looks at the waste on his shoe. He turns to her and looks at her with an unhappy frown, his bottom lip protruding a little like it always does when he's annoyed or angry or any other negative emotion._

_"You wouldn't be so cheerful if your pretty little boots were covered in shit," Ben says._

_Rey glances down at her beloved boots, picturing them covered in dung like Ben's are. She loves her boots, Ben bought them for her back on Devaron and she's worn them ever since. They're scuffed and the soles are softening from so much use, but she won't stop wearing them until they're unwearable._

_"True," Rey says, though she still has to keep herself from giggling._

_Rey turns away, looking around them at the swampy jungle that seems to cover this whole planet. It's a very green planet, but not in a beautiful way. It's dark and gloomy, and there are so many different disgusting creatures on this planet. Snakes and bugs, though the elephoths are very majestic, the snakes and bugs are revolting._

_"Uh, Rey . . . "_

_Rey turns back to look at Ben and she finds him staring up at gigantic snake as it rises out of the dingy water of the lake._ _Wings sprout from it's long, thick body, and it opens its mouth, showing it's sharp fangs._

_A dragonsnake, common in Dagobah's bogs. Great. They come here to try and find anything that Master Yoda might have left in his temporary home here, and they end up finding a giant, winged snake._

_Because, of course, that's just how their luck goes._

_Ben takes a tentative step back as Rey takes a step forward, ready to run to him if she needs to. He reaches across his body and grabs his lightsaber, igniting it so that the blue light of his blade shines across the greenish water._

_One second, the snake is just swaying there, staring down at Ben with blazing red eyes. The next second, the snake is sweeping down towards Ben. It knocks him away with its head, sending him flying into one of the gnarled trees that dot the swampy landscape._

_"Ben!" Rey yells, her hands sweeping to her saberstaff and igniting in one swift motion. She runs to the giant serpent and leaps towards it._

_It sweeps it's head down towards her, snapping its jaws as she runs closer and closer to it. It slithers out of the water and towards her. Its eyes meet hers, dazing her a little._

_She remembers reading about this serpent before, on the flight here so she could be prepared for everything. She remembers reading that it hypnotizes its victims before swallowing them whole._

_She won't allow that to happen to her, or Ben._

_She lets out a guttural growl and she runs closer to the snake, running around it's neck and head, she jumps onto his back and stabs her saber down into it's spine._

_It tries to slither out from underneath her, its wings flutter against her, hitting her and trying to knock her off it, but she only pushes her saber in deeper._

_The snake stops struggling and she hops off, pulling her saber out of its back._

_She runs to Ben, who's struggling to pull himself off the ground, and she offers her hand to him. He reaches out to take it when he's eyes lock onto something behind her, "Rey . . . "_

_Rey's whirls around, slicing the serpents head off with her still-ignited saber, before turning back to Ben, extinguishing the saber and offering her hand again._

_He looks up at her with dark eyes, wide with awe, and murmurs, "Force, I love you."_

_It wasn't meant for her ears, but she hears it anyway. She says, "You better, you laserbrain. No one else would put up with your dramatics."_

_He takes her hand and she pulls him up, quickly kissing him as she whispers, "I love you too."_

They didn't end up finding anything in Yoda's hut, besides a rusted lightsaber, but they discovered something new, something about themselves and their relationship, and that was enough for them.

"I know," Rey says and leans in to kiss him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's a subtle time-skip that I hope you guys caught. I skipped up about a year, though there will be a few flashbacks to explain some things. Trust me, there's a method to my madness, there's a reason for the time-skip. Just bear with me.


	14. Chapter 14

_There’s fire all around her, raging wild and full of fury. It’s smoke is heavy and acrid, hard for her to breathe, she coughs, trying to expel some of the ashes from her lungs._

_She looks around, trying to find her surroundings. The place is familiar, like somewhere she’s been but it’s been awhile, too long since she’s seen it. It’s a small village, huts that people stay in circle the center of the village where this . . . destruction is taking place._

_They’re in a desert, probably on a desert world, and when she looks up the sky is familiar. Jakku, it’s two moons are as familiar to her as her own hands; she used to look up at it’s night sky every night, hoping for a ship to come and take her away._

_An old man stands in the middle of the chaos, the village elder if she remembers, staring at the people he’s grown to know as family, he watches as the ‘troopers come. He knows what’s going to happen, he knows there’s no way to stop it, and yet . . . he wishes he could go back in time and keep traveling instead of stopping and staying in this little village of Jakku._

_She feels all of this as a masked figure strides down the ramp of a dark ship._

_“You know what I’ve come for,” The masked man’s deep, unsympathetic voice says to the old man._

_“I know where you come from,” Says the old man and she wonders how he’s keeping his voice from trembling, “before you called yourself Zar Ren.”_

_Zar doesn’t seem to care as he hurtles on, “The map to Skywalker. We know you have it, and now you're going to give it to the First Order.”_

_“The First Order rose from the Dark Side,” The old man starts, looking at the figure before him with calm eyes, “you did not.”_

“Rey,” There’s the feeling of someone shaking her, pulling her away from the smoke and the masked figure, and Rey opens her eyes to find Ben staring down at her, face lit up with excitement, “We’re here, Rey.”

 _Here? We’re where?_ Rey thinks blearily before realizing he means Naboo. Their destination for a little get away.

Rey sits up, rubbing sleep from her eyes and looks out the viewport to see a field of grass and flowers right outside. She gasps as reaches out as if to touch it but her hand only touches the glass and then she remembers. The ramp.

She’s running and Ben’s chasing her. She presses the button the lower the ramp and barely waits for it to lower before running down and into the field of flowers. She grabs the nearest flower, a pretty pink thing with rounded petals and a white patch in the center, and lifts it to her face, inhaling deeply. It’s sweet, smelling almost like the sticky, golden liquid that Ben puts in his oatmeal, and she loves it.

She’s holding it against her nose when Ben catches up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek.

She turns and holds out the flower to him. “It’s so pretty,” Her voice is little more than a whisper, hoarse from the tears that threaten to spill from her eyes.

He cups her cheeks in his hands and brings her face forward, pressing  sweet kiss to her forehead. “I told you I’d give you all the flowers you wanted, didn’t I?”

She laughs, a bright, sweet laugh that has Ben staring down at her with wonder-filled eyes. “We should probably get to the house, it looks like it might rain,” He whispers.

“I’m fine with a little water,” Rey says as she turns back to the flowers, picking more and lifting each one up to smell its delicate scent.

She doesn’t even care when little droplets of water start to pour from the blue sky above them; although, she does enjoy when Ben wraps his black leather jacket, still warm from his body, around her shoulders, covering her in his scent.

\-----

When they finally make it to the estate, Rey is completely drenched by the rain, her hair hanging limply on her shoulders, and her clothes sticking to her form, outlining each and every curve in a way that makes Ben swallow uncomfortably.

They haven’t done anything past innocent kissing and hand holding, but seeing her with droplets of water slowly sliding down the column of her throat, her clothes showing every single curve, her face flush with excitement, Ben is reminded of just how much he wants to do something more than innocent.

She turns to him and plants a soft kiss to his lips before looking around the house, eyeing the fireplace and the veermok fur rug that rests in front of it with darkened eyes. He wishes he knew what was going on behind those eyes.

“Are you hungry?” Ben asks gently, for lack of something else to say, “I had one of my cousins stock up the place a few days ago. There should be some good things in the cabinets - “

“I’m not hungry,” Rey says quietly. She walks over to the balcony and looks out over it, at the shining lake and the rain that splatters onto it, making the calm waters ripple.

Ben follows her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to keep her warm in the slightly chilly air. “Do you want to swim later? When it’s not raining?” Ben asks. He doesn’t really know what they’ll swim in, but he’s sure they’ll find something.

“I can’t swim,” Rey replies sadly, leaning forward to rest an elbow on the rail of the balcony so she can rest her chin on her palm.

“I can teach you,” Ben offers, thinking about how much fun it would be to swim with Rey, to splash her and elicit those happy giggles of hers that he loves so much, to hold her against him and kiss her under one of the many waterfalls that Naboo prides itself for.

Rey looks up at him and he notices that same look from a few minutes ago, when she looked the rug and the fireplace, in her hazel eyes as her eyes darken to look almost brown. She reaches forward and wraps her arms around his neck, twining her fingers in his hair and pulling his lips down to hers.

He, of course, responds immediately, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her so she can sit on the railing, so their heads are nearly equal to each despite their heights. He knows he’s breathing heavily when she takes his bottom lip between hers and sucks, nipping gently, and his hands tighten around her waist.

She responds by pushing herself closer to him, her chest brushing against his, and curling one of her hands in the back of his shirt. “Ben,” She whispers and he pulls back, only slightly, only so his mouth is barely an inch away from hers, if that.

He watches her, her lips bright red from their kissing and her eyes glazed over with something he’d seen a few times on her face but never this deeply. He waits, waiting for her to speak, to say anything, but she doesn’t. She stares at him as her cheeks turn pink, blushing as thoughts creep along her mind, forbidden to him.

He reaches out with the Force, thankful he took his ring off earlier, to try and sense her emotions down the string that binds them and his eyes widen as he feels lust hidden among her more innocent emotions like love and joy.

She knows he’s in her head when she thinks, _Could we do more?_

And Ben, being all too happy to oblige to her every wish and demand, nods. “Yes,” He mumbles as he places his lips over hers again, lifting her off the railing and back into his arms.

He turns and carries her through the living room and the dining room and into what he knows is the master bedroom, it had once been his grandmother’s and then his grandmother’s and grandfather’s.

The room had changed since then. When his great aunt became the sole owner of the estate, she changed a few things. The walls are now a dark burgundy color while the floor is a soft, cream-colored carpet. The bed in the middle of the room is huge, larger than any that’s he’s ever shared with Rey; having always been on a mission or at the rebel base on D’Qar they didn’t get to sleep anywhere but on small cots or the bunks in the _Shadow_. Not that he minds, he quite likes having to be pressed so tightly against her.

He gently lays her on the satin sheets of the unfamiliar bed, kissing down the column of her throat, following the path of that raindrop that he’d watched earlier. She keeps her legs wrapped around his hips as he follows her onto the bed, keeping himself above her with his forearms resting on either side of her head.

“Are you sure about this?” Ben asks, looking down at her, trying to ignore the way her breasts push against his chest whenever her chest rises up with her breath.

Rey nods, not sure if she’d be able to form an entirely coherent sentence. And then he’s kissing her, and the night begins.

They don’t succumb to sleep until dawn.

\-----

Rey wakes utterly blissful, warm from the sunlight streaming through the windows and the body that she lies atop of.

She looks down at her beloved, stroking the inky curls of his hair away from his eyes. He sleeps peacefully - she’s never seen him sleep this calmly - and she’s scared she’ll wake him from that simple move.

But she doesn’t.

He sleeps on peacefully underneath her, his large hands cradling her body and holding her tightly against him, his face buried in her neck.

She doesn’t need to use the bond to know that he’s dreaming, dreaming about happy things that he hopes for the future - their future. He’d already told her some of his hopes. He wants them to win this war. He wants them to kill Snoke so he can finally take off his ring without the fear of that _thing_ getting into his head. He wants to get her a ring, and she suspects that it’s not going to be one made of that Force suppression metal.

She hears a ping and looks over at the datapad that lies on the bedside table near them. She rolls off of Ben, slowly, gently, untangling his arms from her as she grabs the datapad and starts to read the message.

One word flashes in bright red letters with a datafile of a hologram attached to it.

URGENT 

Rey opens the hologram and soon an image of Leia Organa appears, her face calm yet her eyes seem etched with horror. “Rey, Ben, I am so sorry to interrupt your vacation. I know how much you were looking forward to it, but something has . . . happened.”

“One of our best pilots, your close friend, Poe Dameron, has gone missing,” Rey’s spine straightens the General’s voice informs her of the situation. Poe has been a very close friend to Rey, one of her only friends other than Ben and his family. He’s even gone on a few missions with Ben and her, flying his own personal ship while they fly the _Shadow_ , always trying to outrace them.

Ben and Rey won every time.

“We believe he was taken into custody by the First Order while he was on a very delicate mission,” Leia says, her voice gravely still. “He is probably being interrogated for information as we speak.”

“We only know a few things about what happened, though. Here is what we can tell you, we sent him to Jakku to receive highly important information. Information about my brother’s whereabouts.”

Rey barely manages to stifle her gasp, not noticing that Ben’s awake and listening beside her. “We know that the village where he was supposed to obtain this information has been massacred. And we know that his droid, BB-8 is missing; and, if I know Dameron at all, the BB-unit probably contains the information he sought.”

“I’m sorry to lay this task on you two, but it seems I have no choice,” Leia says quietly. “There are no others in our numbers that have the skills you two do. We expect you to find the BB-unit and retrieve the information.”

“What about Poe?” Rey asks Ben quietly. She turns to find his eyes darkening with something, something like dread.

And then Leia answers as if she were projecting herself and not a pre-recorded holo, “After, and only after, the information is in safe hands may you try to rescue Dameron.”

The holo cuts out.

Rey stares down at the datapad with sad eyes. She’d wanted a few days, even on full day, just for her and Ben. A full day where they could just be together with giant snakes trying to eat them or ships firing at them.

It seems that is never going to happen.

Ben sighs and rubs he back soothingly, laying a kiss between her shoulder blades. “Don’t worry, flower. We’ll have that day, I promise.”

They dress quickly. Ben in his usual black pants with a plain grey shirt and a black vest and Rey with her typical simple cotton dress-like tunic and fleece-lined leggings. They both pull on knee-high leather boots, Rey’s favorite worn-in pair slides comfortingly on her legs.

They buckle eachother’s holsters, sliding their multiple weapons into the slots.

Silently walking out of the house, the couple holds hands, squeezing each other’s palms in comfort. Rey walks slowly towards the door, staring around at the house that they’ve barely explored with barely-contained sadness.

She doesn’t want to leave this sanctuary.

Ben turns to her, sensing her thoughts, and lays a gently kiss on her lips, holding her chin between his fingers. He rests his forehead against hers as he whispers, “We’ll be back, one day. We’ll have weeks, months, years even, to explore this place.”

Rey nods. Still though, her eyes wander to the windows, and beyond, where she sees the beautiful shimmering lake, shining under the bright sunlight, and the green of the forest beyond it.

Ben bumps his forehead against hers to get her attention and he gives her a soft smile when her eyes find his as he says, “I promised, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

“And have I ever broken a promise to you?” Ben asks.

And Rey doesn’t hesitate before saying, “No.” That’s one thing Ben’s never done. He always keeps his promises to her, though she wishes he wouldn’t make as many promises to “see her back at the ship” or to “be back shortly” whenever Stormtroopers are involved.

“Then you know we’ll see this place again, in a time when the war is over and we can just spend however long we want lying around in that comfortable doing whatever we want,” Ben says, a low glimmer lighting his eyes.

Rey smiles. “Alright, let’s go save a droid so we can get one step closer to that day.”

“I agree,” Ben says, grabbing her hand again.

And they walk out of the house, heading towards their ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's short. I'm sorry. So, long story short, it took me a long time to write this chapter because I was going to make it a smutty chapter, but then I got stuck because every time I've written smut it's been between two characters where at least one was experience. I don't think I know how to write virgin-on-virgin sex (I'm not even good at the regular smut, also we all know precious baby Kylo is a virgin) but if I figure it out I'm definitely going to write some smut for this story. We'll see. Now that this chapter is out, I can focus on the chapters after it because I know what I want to write so yay! More updates!


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